From a Princess's perspective

Being a very girly girl, I have always fancied myself as a princess.

Like most girls I know, I dreamed of being swept off my feet by Prince Charming and becoming the mother of little princes and princesses, living in a beautiful palace with hardly a care in the world.

A recent conversation about the Royal Family however got me thinking whether or not life in the monarchy is really as glamorous and wonderful as we make out. Discussing the Duchess of Cambridge, a friend was saying how easy it must be for her to raise her son Prince George with no money worries, a live in nanny, someone to do the housework and cooking, someone else to keep her fit. In principal I dare say that the privileged lifestyle that Kate Middleton has become part of provides a wonderfully comfortable start to the world of parenthood, however I wondered would it really be 'easier'?

Like any mother, Kate has had to battle the sleepless nights of a newborn, the tribulations of teething and the challenges of tantrumming toddlers, however the difference is that she has to negotiate all these things with the eyes of the world watching her. She must complete all motherly duties whilst looking impeccable and greeting her waiting public at various engagements across the world, on less than four hours sleep. Royals are rarely 'off-duty', and to be so eagerly observed by millions of people, some fans who wish them well and some who are just waiting for them to make a wrong move must be so incredibly upsetting, especially when finding your way as new parents for the very first time.

William and Kate are probably the most famous couple on the planet, and the media circus that surrounds their every move is quite surreal, and I imagine it must be incredibly frightening to try and raise children in the harsh and constant glare of the spotlights. I understand why the Royals retreat to sprawling estates of Balmoral and Sandringham to escape the prying eyes of the media and enjoy some level of freedom. The Duchess of Cambridge will never be able to freely walk her son to and from school like I can, she may never be able to attend local toddler groups in Kensington to meet regular mums going through the same stages as her for fear of letting her guard down and becoming vulnerable to individual who would manipulate or threaten her young family.

Yes Kate may have the most amazing play room that my children can only dream about, and yes she may have every designer brand beating her door down to dress her, but I am blessed to be able to enjoy the precious day to day moments of my son's lives without fear of paparazzi intrusion and global scrutiny.

R

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Embrace the place you are in

If I had a pound for every time a mommy friend welcomed me into her home saying "please excuse the mess" then I would be a very rich woman.

The truth is unless you have a live in housekeeper (or OCD) if you have children in your home then it WILL be messy. End of. Why moms feel the need to constantly keep up appearances for guests is beyond me, yet I fall foul of this every time I set a play date with fellow moms too.

As women I think we feel a lot of pressure to 'be' something, whether that is to be the perfect wife, perfect mom, perfect cook or perfect friend, and although I believe it is good to have goals and dream big we need to face reality that sometimes things won't be quite as picture perfect as we would like.

I have never once gone into a friends house and judged her by the state of the carpets as I picked my way through the lego bricks and happy land figures in the hallway to get to the kitchen. I have never once thought gosh you would think she would have washed the breakfast dishes up by 2pm, I have never wrinkled my nose in disgust at the crumbs on the sofa or the grubby finger marks on the walls and windows. In fact when I enter a friends house and it is in a slight state of disarray I inwardly relax, glad that its not just me then, and I feel less uptight about the mess that my own children are about to create from the toybox...

Furthermore, I have never met a mom who wished she had spent less time with her children, and if that is one legacy I want to leave with them it is that mommy was always there and always ready to play.

So what I would like to encourage you in is this; your little ones will not stay little forever. This season of having small people under your feet will fly by with no disregard for your heart as you watch them grow. They will not always follow you around with endless requests to play/give snacks/give drinks/read stories. One day they will find their feet and start their own journey through life, with minimal input from you, so fellow moms I urge you (and myself) to put down the duster, unplug the hoover and embrace the place you are in.

R

Are we ever really ready for parenthood?

If someone had told me what motherhood was really like I wonder if I would have gone through with it. 

Now don't get me wrong,  I adore my sons and I would not part with them for all the world, however I don't think I was entirely prepared for parenting. I am not talking about the sleepless nights associated with newborns,  or even the challenging tantrums that lasted way beyond the terrible twos, I am in fact talking about the huge heart wrenching responsibility of raising a little life.

My heart swells with pride whenever I think about my boys,  they are both so individual and their smiles simply light up my day. Their personalities are so different yet so complimentary, and I love how they approach life so differently. The thought that my words and actions will mould them into the men they become is more than a little daunting, and I reminded daily of how much I need to teach and invest in myself in order to do the same for them.

More than this though, I realise that it is outside influences that can have the greatest impact on and be the greatest threat to my children. When I look at them together, playing so innocently with no realisation about the atrocities committed across our city never mind our world, the fear I have for their safety, their happiness and their future in a somewhat hostile world just overwhelms me. I know that we are privileged to live in a civilised, democratic and relatively safe world, however the news tells a very different story with rapes, murders and most recently the horrific beheading of innocent victims from IS extremists being reported on a daily basis.

As a mother all I want to do is protect my children. My job is to love them, care for them, teach them and ultimately make everything okay, and I can deal with bad mouthed bullies or bumps and bruises, but how do I counteract the cowardly acts of criminals who seek to hurt and destroy?

I yearn to offer my children the fun and freedom that I enjoyed as a child, so that they can learn and grow in the same way that I did, but I fear that this will never happen as the world we live in now has changed so much since the eighties and nineties. Where I was allowed to play out all day every day in the holidays, I know that no matter how street savvy my sons are, I would massively struggle with them playing out alone in our street much less away from home unaccompanied. Of course,  there will come a day when I have to let them go, and trust that the education that we as parents and that given by our church and the boy's school will stand them in good stead to keep safe while out and about.

I pray for the safety of both my sons daily,  not only that they would be physically safe and unharmed as they go about their day at school and at home, but also that they would be spiritually and emotionally protected, that they would guard their hearts and minds. The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 that God has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future, so as Dave and I keep sowing the seeds of God's word into our family life, I trust that this truth will prevail as my handsome boy's become grown men and find their own way through this life.

Knowing how fast they grow up, this mommy is going to enjoy every precious moment with the undivided attention of my young charges, so that I can invest into their lives, influence them and help them to make good life choices.

Meanwhile I am happy to stick to supervised park play dates and having friends round to stay

R

MAD Blog Awards 2014

What a weekend! On Friday I went to my first ever MAD Blog Awards and all I can say is wow!! I was fortunate enough to win tickets to the awards in a competition just over a week ago, and since then have been frantically sorting out train tickets and cocktail dresses ready for the big night out. There are some seriously talented bloggers on the world wide web, and it was such a privilege to finally meet some of the UK's best Mummy and Daddy bloggers in person at the MADs.

I was a little apprehensive about travelling all the way down to London form Birmingham on my own, but I needn't have worried because as soon as I had entered the Palace Suite at the prestigious Royal Garden Hotel I was instantly put at ease and welcomed by fellow bloggers. Having been an avid fan of twitter for years, it was so lovely to put a face to the name of some of my favourite bloggers such as Katie from Mummy Daddy and Me and Morgana from But Why Mummy Why, plus I made lots of new friends amongst the fabulous finalists including thrifty lady Jennifer from My Mummy's Pennies, Lucy from London Bird Lucy, Grace from Eats Amazing and Katy from What Katy Said UK.

The venue was amazing, I felt like a VIP having my photograph taken on entry with some gorgeous girlies, then it was into the foyer for bubbles, nibbles and a spot of networking. There was a giant sized Operation game in honour of our host for the evening Dr Ranj and a giant Pikachu doing the rounds for some fun photo opportunities!

Once in the awards ceremony hall itself we were greeted by elegant candlelit tables and impeccable service by the waiting staff who rapidly brought us some truly exquisite dishes. The handsome Dr Ranj kept us all entertained all evening and the awards themselves were great fun and highlighted some of the extraoridnary stories of the mum and dad bloggers in each category. It was wonderful to hear the great fundraising and awareness campaigns that have been started by so many bloggers.

Finally we finished up with a huge goody bag filled with all sorts of treats from brioche loaves to baby cream and - my personal favourite - the handmade baking chocolate buttons! Sadly I had to leave before the end of the awards as my train was leaving from Euston at 11.30pm, but I left buzzing with ideas for my blog (hence the new name!!) and hope that with a bit of hard work I might one day make it back to the awards as a finalist myself.

Finally I have got to say a huge thank you go Sally Whittle and her team for organising such a superb event from start to finish! Thank you for having me, see you again soon!

R

Too excited to sleep! Mummy's, Daddy's and MAD Blog Awards...

So tomorrow I will be attending my first ever MAD Blog Awards and to say I am a tad excited would be an understatement! Having won the tickets to attend only a week or so ago it has been all systems go to organise travel to London and back in a day,  childcare and not to mention the small matter or finding an outfit to wear!

I am thrilled to be able to finally meet some of the fabulous bloggers that I have been following for the last 3 or 4 years, and know that I am going to return home brimming with ideas and inspiration to take my parenting and  lifestyle blog to the next level. Tickets are booked, dress, bag (yes, an actual handbag not a changing bag!) and heels are all carefully laid out to wear and my brand new Samsung Galaxy is charged ready for some serious note taking and networking. I will be hopefully capturing my adventures on instagram too so look out for some pics tomorrow evening!

Right then... off to bed as it's going to be a late finish tomorrow 😉

R

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Learning to let go

As a child I always loved September, the excitement of heading in on to school on the first day of term with new shoes, new stationery and a new bag to show off to all my friends. They say that your school years are the best years of your life, and despite the odd issue with bullying from time to time I couldn't agree more with that statement. I almost envy the young fresh faced children skipping excitedly to school, without a care in the world. Oh how lovely not to have to worry about pressures at work or getting the bills paid!

This September is an extra special one for me, as my 4 year old son starts school. I can hardly believe that this has come around so fast, it feels like only yesterday that I brought him home from hospital. I used to spend hours staring in amazement at this tiny bundle that I was cradling in my arms, back then I thought that we had forever stretched out in front of us, but already my baby boy is running ahead into his future.

I am so thankful for his gregarious nature and fierce independence, he delights in making new friends and is so confident even in new surroundings. However this independence tugged on my heart as my little boy bounded into his new class with out turning to see his momma desperately hoping for a cuddle whilst she controlled her overflowing emotions.

Despite knowing that my little boy was totally ready for school, I am suddenly aware that perhaps I am not. Although his endless energy leaves me exasperated at times, I realise just how much of a companion he has become over the last four and a half years and the thought of not sharing each and every moment of his day fills me with an overwhelming sadness. I feel like I am letting him go, I would never allow a complete stranger to babysit my child any other time, so why would I let two have control of him for a whole day? Of course I understand that school is safe environment and I have met (and really like) my son's teacher, I just can't bear the thought that I will not witness many of his achievements and milestones first hand from now on.

My son is my pride and joy, his positive and fearless nature inspires me and I know that he will thrive in school, learning new skills and making new friends. I pray that he would grow up to be a kind and generous man of God just like his Daddy, but before I wish away the next fifteen years I am content to watch my little school boy take his first steps into the big wide world on his own. Don't grow up too fast my boy, stay and rest a little while longer before you fly off on the big adventure of life.