It's you or the house....

Does anyone else feel like managing a family and running a household is an impossible task?

From day to day, I seem to run from one thing to another, with precious little 'me-time', all while trying to maintain the air of coolness and sophistication that accompanies the carefree lifestyle of those who don't have to hunt for lost shoes/dummies/book bags each morning. 

Today's schedule looked like this: get woken up, before my alarm by my eldest, feed the boys, grab cuppa, dress boys and myself, apply bb cream and lippy in half light of dawn, walk to school, walk back, put on laundry load, sweep up breakfast crumbs while playing hide and seek with my toddler, chase said toddler around local toddler group, come home to feed toddler, put him down for a nap, switch on laptop and catch up on emails and articles in between mouthfuls of a hastily made salad, wake toddler, put laundry out to dry, walk to school to collect 5yo, walk home, begin process of entertaining and feeding boys whilst cooking dinner and washing up breakfast dishes before hubby comes home. Upon his arrival, bath kids before dinner, put them to bed, eat dinner, drive to grocery store for weekly food shop, drive home to unpack grocery bags, write menu for the following week, check school bag and change bag and fill water bottles and depleted items, check on boys and iron uniform for next day, finally lock up and check cats are fed and watered with clean litter tray. 

I am exhausted!! In amongst all these chores I desperately want my house to remain clean to the high standard it was pre-children, and I want to maintain a half decent appearance so that my husband will recognise the wife of his youth and not be faced with a dishevelled, tired looking stranger when he walks through the door. More importantly I want to enjoy some quality time with my husband, talking, playing games, watching movies not to mention being close to one another physically.

But how on earth do people find the time to be the perfect wife/girlfriend/mother/friend/cook/housewife?

My hubby is amazing and helps no end in the house and especially with the boys, but I do find myself regularly thinking I just cannot keep up with everything and there is always something that suffers from my multitasking mayhem. I can be the perfect sex kitten wife with happy kids and a trashed house or a house proud stepford wife with immaculate floors, bored kids and a frustrated husband. And that's not even talking into account my working hours!

So my darling boys (big and small), I feel I must say that my attention can only be split so many ways during the day, so you just choose - it's you or the house! ;)

R x 

Embrace the place you are in

If I had a pound for every time a mommy friend welcomed me into her home saying "please excuse the mess" then I would be a very rich woman.

The truth is unless you have a live in housekeeper (or OCD) if you have children in your home then it WILL be messy. End of. Why moms feel the need to constantly keep up appearances for guests is beyond me, yet I fall foul of this every time I set a play date with fellow moms too.

As women I think we feel a lot of pressure to 'be' something, whether that is to be the perfect wife, perfect mom, perfect cook or perfect friend, and although I believe it is good to have goals and dream big we need to face reality that sometimes things won't be quite as picture perfect as we would like.

I have never once gone into a friends house and judged her by the state of the carpets as I picked my way through the lego bricks and happy land figures in the hallway to get to the kitchen. I have never once thought gosh you would think she would have washed the breakfast dishes up by 2pm, I have never wrinkled my nose in disgust at the crumbs on the sofa or the grubby finger marks on the walls and windows. In fact when I enter a friends house and it is in a slight state of disarray I inwardly relax, glad that its not just me then, and I feel less uptight about the mess that my own children are about to create from the toybox...

Furthermore, I have never met a mom who wished she had spent less time with her children, and if that is one legacy I want to leave with them it is that mommy was always there and always ready to play.

So what I would like to encourage you in is this; your little ones will not stay little forever. This season of having small people under your feet will fly by with no disregard for your heart as you watch them grow. They will not always follow you around with endless requests to play/give snacks/give drinks/read stories. One day they will find their feet and start their own journey through life, with minimal input from you, so fellow moms I urge you (and myself) to put down the duster, unplug the hoover and embrace the place you are in.

R

Are we ever really ready for parenthood?

If someone had told me what motherhood was really like I wonder if I would have gone through with it. 

Now don't get me wrong,  I adore my sons and I would not part with them for all the world, however I don't think I was entirely prepared for parenting. I am not talking about the sleepless nights associated with newborns,  or even the challenging tantrums that lasted way beyond the terrible twos, I am in fact talking about the huge heart wrenching responsibility of raising a little life.

My heart swells with pride whenever I think about my boys,  they are both so individual and their smiles simply light up my day. Their personalities are so different yet so complimentary, and I love how they approach life so differently. The thought that my words and actions will mould them into the men they become is more than a little daunting, and I reminded daily of how much I need to teach and invest in myself in order to do the same for them.

More than this though, I realise that it is outside influences that can have the greatest impact on and be the greatest threat to my children. When I look at them together, playing so innocently with no realisation about the atrocities committed across our city never mind our world, the fear I have for their safety, their happiness and their future in a somewhat hostile world just overwhelms me. I know that we are privileged to live in a civilised, democratic and relatively safe world, however the news tells a very different story with rapes, murders and most recently the horrific beheading of innocent victims from IS extremists being reported on a daily basis.

As a mother all I want to do is protect my children. My job is to love them, care for them, teach them and ultimately make everything okay, and I can deal with bad mouthed bullies or bumps and bruises, but how do I counteract the cowardly acts of criminals who seek to hurt and destroy?

I yearn to offer my children the fun and freedom that I enjoyed as a child, so that they can learn and grow in the same way that I did, but I fear that this will never happen as the world we live in now has changed so much since the eighties and nineties. Where I was allowed to play out all day every day in the holidays, I know that no matter how street savvy my sons are, I would massively struggle with them playing out alone in our street much less away from home unaccompanied. Of course,  there will come a day when I have to let them go, and trust that the education that we as parents and that given by our church and the boy's school will stand them in good stead to keep safe while out and about.

I pray for the safety of both my sons daily,  not only that they would be physically safe and unharmed as they go about their day at school and at home, but also that they would be spiritually and emotionally protected, that they would guard their hearts and minds. The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 that God has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future, so as Dave and I keep sowing the seeds of God's word into our family life, I trust that this truth will prevail as my handsome boy's become grown men and find their own way through this life.

Knowing how fast they grow up, this mommy is going to enjoy every precious moment with the undivided attention of my young charges, so that I can invest into their lives, influence them and help them to make good life choices.

Meanwhile I am happy to stick to supervised park play dates and having friends round to stay

R