They are what YOU speak...

I am so sick of hearing the phrase 'He is a bad boy' or 'She is naughty girl'.

Now, as a mother of particularly boisterous boys, who have been more than a little challenging at times, I am only too aware that sometimes our children do misbehave. But I have learnt (the hard way) that confirming negative behaviour to a child will only entrench the behaviour even deeper, as they start to believe what they are told about themselves.

Children are NOT bad. They are not NAUGHTY. Their behaviour is not malicious and is not a personal attack on you or others around you. Children are tiny human beings who are learning what is right and wrong and are pushing the boundaries socially and physically to discover what is OK, what is acceptable. And yes, at times they will make the wrong choice. They will choose to snatch that toy, to push that child, to hit that parent or answer back in the middle of the playground. These choices and the resulting behaviour exhibited is naughty, not the child, and I would encourage any parent, guardian or carer, myself included, to isolate the behaviour and condemn this not the child in question.

Furthermore, if it is not your child exhibiting the behaviour, stop before you judge them or pass comment; that little boy lashing out may be struggling with separation from a father who left his mother six weeks ago, that little girl may have a poorly sibling who is requiring all mom and dad's attention so she is acting out to get noticed by someone.

Our words have more power than we could ever realise. The Bible tells us that our words have the power to destroy and the power to save lives (Proverbs 12:6) and for anyone who has ever been criticised, put down or gossiped about, you will know that words can wound deeper than any sword. When someone casts a careless comment to a child, saying 'You are a naughty girl', 'Why do you do that? What's wrong with you?' 'He is a nasty piece of work', they are speaking into their little, impressionable minds, into their soft vulnerable hearts and dealing them the most hurtful blow that can stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Having done The Five Love Languages, I am aware that my top love language is words of affirmation, so for me, words have a lasting effect that can have immeasurable repercussions on my emotional and mental well being. I remember harsh words spoken about me or to me from a very young age as if it were yesterday, and the comments still cause me to question my image, my ability or my talent some twenty five years later.

God spoke the world into being with his words and as we are made in His image, we are responsible for the words we speak out into and over others. Jesus himself said; "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned" Matthew 12:36-37

If you have guardianship or relationship with a child of any age, please, I urge you, be careful what you say to them, in front of them or around them. Children are like sponges that soak up all that flows in and around them, whether that is good or bad, positive or negative. Don't fill their heads with your own judgements, doubts, fears or frustrations. Make sure the words you speak into them are full of praise, encouragement and gentle love-filled discipline that will build your child into a strong, secure man or woman in the future.

R x

Why I won't let my children trick or treat

If you saw your son or daughter conjuring up demons and dead spirits or casting spells would you be ok with that?

I hope that the answer is no, yet millions of parents will allow their children to take part in the 'harmless fun' of Halloween while the devil sits back and laughs. He doesn't need to incite a curios in the dark arts within children because their parents unwittingly due it for him by making light of acting like a witch or wizard. The adaptation of JK Rowlings books have seen children across the world brandishing a wand like a weapon and chanting their very own spells wwhilst touring the neighbourhood as a spooky being. 

Magic is not fun, nor is it harmless. It is a slippery slope to the dark arts, the power that it offers the participant lures them deeper and deeper into a demonic world where Satan can really get a hold of you.

I myself as a young girl was transfixed my shows like Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Charmed and so on and I gained an interest in the occult but thank God Jesus claimed me for His own and saved me.

The Bible pulls no punches on this topic, warning very clearly in Deuteronomy 18:9-14

"...Do not let your people practice fortune telling or use sorcery, or interpret omens,  or engage in witchcraft, or cast spells or function as mediums or psychics, or call forth the spirits of the dead..."

Fortunately God has the ultimate power, and the one name that makes the devil tremble is Jesus Christ. The Bible says if we call upon His name we will be saved and once we give our hearts to Jesus He lives within us. When you have done that you can be confident that;

Greater is He (Jesus) that lives in me than he (the devil) that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

God ia the ultimate heavenly Father and He loves you and wants to protect you just the same as you want to protect your family. My prayer is that this Halloween would not be a spiritual battle between good and evil for your soul or your children's souls, but would be the day you surrender to God and trust in His unfailing love and everlasting protection.

R

Who wouldn't want an extra hour?

Mamma! Mamma! My sons urgent cries pierced my slumber like a pin to a bubble.

The call from my 19 month old wasn't actually any different from any other morning, only it was at 5am not 6am. (I so envy parents who have to wake their children in the morning!) Not being a morning person, my attitude was not particularly cheerful as I reluctantly left my soft, warm bed, padded in to the boys bedroom and lay down in little man's bed in a desperate bid to get them both back to sleep. I grumpily wondered whose stupid idea it was to put the clocks back in the first place, I mean, we are all repeatedly told how we should look to the future, don't revisit the past etc, so what benefit do we get from turning back time and gaining an hour?

A terminally ill mother who give anything to have an extra hour, God whispered to me.

A father holding his precious daughter in his arms would give anything to go back an hour to when breath filled her lungs.

The motorist who was distracted by a text message and didn't see the motorbike coming around the corner would give anything to go back an hour and switch that phone to silent.

Time is precious. It is fleeting and it is fragile. It is our most valuable commodity and yet we fritter it away on a daily basis. Today I have been awake since 5am, but that means that I have enjoyed an hour more of cwtches and cbeebies with my children. I am blessed beyond all measure and my prayer today is that I never forget that nor today for granted.

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog, its here a little while then it is gone." James 4:13

So if you have been up since the wee hours this morning, go and pour yourself a strong coffee, give thanks for your life and enjoy this day, this hour, this minute for we are not promised tomorrow.

R

Love the little things....

Here is my first blog for Love The Little Things and I am super excited to share my week with you!

Read

I have such a huge stack of books on my shelves waiting to be read, but the current title on my bedside table is Dr John Andrews' book 2:52 about growing in leadership. I have also dipped in and out of Hello magazine this week to pour over the pages of the marriage of the worlds most eligible batchelor, Mr George Clooney and his bride Amal!

Watched

Friday night is date night in the Edwards household and we decided to watch reruns of Twilight Saga as Dave has yet to see the final instalment and we needed a refresh before watching Breaking Dawn Part 2!

Wore

Unlike the rest of the UK I am actually looking forward to autumn, and so I have been excitedly sporting my scarves again this week. As a complete self confessed scarf addict, I love nothing more than pulling on skinny jeans and boots or leggings and a knitted dress accompanied with some neck warming loveliness in the winter months. This is my newest addition, the swallows scarf from Ella Bella Scarves.

Heard

I love the distinctive voice of Rory James, his melodies are haunting yet uplifting, I highly recommend checking him out on YouTube!

Made

There has been a distinct lack of crafting and cooking this week, but I have made lots of mess with my 4 year old who has rediscovered his love of playdough!

Are we ever really ready for parenthood?

If someone had told me what motherhood was really like I wonder if I would have gone through with it. 

Now don't get me wrong,  I adore my sons and I would not part with them for all the world, however I don't think I was entirely prepared for parenting. I am not talking about the sleepless nights associated with newborns,  or even the challenging tantrums that lasted way beyond the terrible twos, I am in fact talking about the huge heart wrenching responsibility of raising a little life.

My heart swells with pride whenever I think about my boys,  they are both so individual and their smiles simply light up my day. Their personalities are so different yet so complimentary, and I love how they approach life so differently. The thought that my words and actions will mould them into the men they become is more than a little daunting, and I reminded daily of how much I need to teach and invest in myself in order to do the same for them.

More than this though, I realise that it is outside influences that can have the greatest impact on and be the greatest threat to my children. When I look at them together, playing so innocently with no realisation about the atrocities committed across our city never mind our world, the fear I have for their safety, their happiness and their future in a somewhat hostile world just overwhelms me. I know that we are privileged to live in a civilised, democratic and relatively safe world, however the news tells a very different story with rapes, murders and most recently the horrific beheading of innocent victims from IS extremists being reported on a daily basis.

As a mother all I want to do is protect my children. My job is to love them, care for them, teach them and ultimately make everything okay, and I can deal with bad mouthed bullies or bumps and bruises, but how do I counteract the cowardly acts of criminals who seek to hurt and destroy?

I yearn to offer my children the fun and freedom that I enjoyed as a child, so that they can learn and grow in the same way that I did, but I fear that this will never happen as the world we live in now has changed so much since the eighties and nineties. Where I was allowed to play out all day every day in the holidays, I know that no matter how street savvy my sons are, I would massively struggle with them playing out alone in our street much less away from home unaccompanied. Of course,  there will come a day when I have to let them go, and trust that the education that we as parents and that given by our church and the boy's school will stand them in good stead to keep safe while out and about.

I pray for the safety of both my sons daily,  not only that they would be physically safe and unharmed as they go about their day at school and at home, but also that they would be spiritually and emotionally protected, that they would guard their hearts and minds. The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 that God has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future, so as Dave and I keep sowing the seeds of God's word into our family life, I trust that this truth will prevail as my handsome boy's become grown men and find their own way through this life.

Knowing how fast they grow up, this mommy is going to enjoy every precious moment with the undivided attention of my young charges, so that I can invest into their lives, influence them and help them to make good life choices.

Meanwhile I am happy to stick to supervised park play dates and having friends round to stay

R

Where are you going?

Tonight I have a heavy heart after learning of the passing of a much loved member of our church. Although I did not know her personally, I know of her her battle with cancer and had the privilege of praying with her once. I know that this beautiful lady has been called home to the Saviour that she so adores, and she feels no pain, only peace and an immense joy that we can not comprehend. The tears streaming down my face are not for her death but for the loved ones she left behind, and I pray that our heavenly Father would scoop them up and hold them tight right now.

God reminded me tonight of the fragility of life, that like a flower that blooms in full technicolour but for a moment before quickly fading as the seasons pass. I started to think of all the things I, and my fellow mums should put in place should we ever be called home at a young age, such as our long overdue will that has been put aside amidst the busyness of moving house and raising two small boys.

Just as I was mentally thinking who I would want to have my most treasured possessions, I felt God say that the most treasured thing that anyone can own on the Earth is salvation. I know that I belong to God, Jesus has my heart because of what He did on the cross for me, and I am safe forever in the knowledge that should myself or my husband pass away we would be welcomed in to the arms of Jesus for eternity and would one day meet again.

As comforting as this thought is to me, a sense of panic and urgency came upon me as I thought of my loved ones who don't know Jesus yet. God spoke into my spirit and said if you are so willing to share the need to place your worldly goods in order with your family and friends, then why aren't you as fervent with their spiritual well being? Possessions and material items can be fought over long after we have gone, but our salvation cannot. We are either saved or we are not. Once we have died our souls cannot be bought back or prayed into heaven, we are called to make a response to Jesus whilst we are here on the Earth, not once we get to heaven's gates.

So where are you going? What do you believe? I don't profess to be any theologian, nor do I have all the answers, however I believe with my whole heart that Jesus is the Son of God, He died on the cross to save me from all my sin and He is now resurrected, alive and reigns with God in heaven. I believe that one day He will return to the Earth and make new all that is lost, broken and dead, and on that day all believers dead or alive will be raised up and given new bodies on a new Heaven and Earth.

I want to urge you to explore Christianity, join an Alpha course at Renewal Christian Centre or any church local to you and ask questions - the more difficult the better! Alpha teams are trained experts who can help you to understand who Jesus is, what He is about and try and answer your questions, no matter how big, small or 'ridiculous' they may seem to you. There is no obligation to become a Christian or join a church at the end, it is simply 12 two hour sessions where you can get fed a delicious dinner, meet new people, find out more about Jesus. 24 hours of your life. You may well spend more than that watching your favourite soap operas every week for a month, so what have you go to lose? It just might make the difference between the two destinations at the end of your life.