Letter to my younger self....

Dear Rachel,

Congratulations! You have become a wife and a mother in the short space of 18 months.

Firstly I want to tell you to enjoy these precious few moments as a brand new family, you are in a great place emotionally, physically and spiritually following the move to your new church and you are starting to discover who you are and why God put you here on this earth.

Your role as a mother will not define who you are. You are more than a cook and bottle washer, more than a cleaner and laundry attendant. You are an independent woman who is strong, confident, accomplished and gifted, no matter how you may doubt and question yourself. Can I really do this? Can I ever be good enough? Am I qualified? The answer to all these questions in God is yes. If He has called you to it He will bring you through it.

Your girlfriends are your world right now, and that is OK. Fellow moms who are going through the same stages as you, attend the same church as you, attend the same toddler group, women that you have so much in common with. 

Don't take things to heart, you have a tendency to wear your heart on your sleeve a little too much so why not protect it and keep some things just between you and God. He knows your heart, He knows your desire to be loved, accepted and to belong which is why He sought you out to become a daughter of the King, part of the Kingdom of Heaven. This is also the reason He gave you a great marriage, a husband who knows you intimately and loves every part of you. A strong man who will uphold you and strengthen you in every area, a man who has got your back.

In the years to come you will face trials an tribulations but you will never be alone. God is with you, He is for you and He has gone ahead of you. You will overcome redundancies, health scares and depression. You will rise above doubts and dilemmas, bad decisions and bad behaviour. You will learn the difference between being a friend and being faithful and your personal faith will reach levels you never dreamed of.

Take courage and stand tall, the future is bright, you just need to believe it and grab it with both hands.

R

Today I Watched A Video....

Today I watched a video. It was only four minutes long, a short documentary about the birth of a young boy. What was so special about it I hear you ask, these home videos are ten a penny on YouTube. Yet this one was special, so incredibly special in fact that it moved me to tears and made me question everything about our society, my response to it and my gratitude for my own blessings in life.

The video I watched was created and released by the parents of Grayson James Walker. This gorgeous little boy was born 15th February 2012 with a severe birth defect called Anencephaly where he was born with parts of his cranium and brain missing. The grief stricken parents were clearly aware of this condition and knew their time with their precious son would be limited, and so they set up professional photographers and called in family members to welcome this little one into the world before he was so quickly taken away. Grayson lived only a short eight hours before passing in to the presence of God. His parents displayed strength that I believe could only have come from God himself as they held their tiny son in their arms, bathed him and dressed him in the most adorable outfits that he would wear only once. They rest in the knowledge that this baby boy is now clothed in robes of righteousness and garments of praise as he sings with the heavenly hosts in the throne room of heaven.

As a mother myself, I can only imagine the heartbreak that these parents endured at losing their son, and their decision to share his first and last moments with family and friends on social media sites is testament to their pride in this beautiful gift from God. However, shockingly, Facebook deemed the photographs of this child to be offensive and removed them. This unbelievable act left Grayson's grieving mother devastated and her response was to replace the deleted photographs of her son alongside many of her supportive family and friends, to which Facebook responded by issuing her with a 24 hour ban from the social media site.

A ban for sharing the most intimate and precious moments of her sons life with her world.

To say I was disgusted would be an understatement. Tears flowed down my cheeks in sorrow for the life that was taken too soon and the grief bore by his parents, and in anger for the judgement passed over this family down to a narrow minded opinion of the powers that be at Facebook. I stared in disbelief at my screen as I imagined who could do such a thing, who could decide that a life isn't worth celebrating, that a moment isn't worth sharing. Why, because it wasn't picture perfect? It wasn't a normal family with a happy ending?

Thankfully, the Walker family received a much needed apology, however I have news for the person who made that call that day. Life isn't picture perfect. We all fall short of the mark. There is more beauty in the face of that disfigured child than in the heart of those who think that his face should not be shared with the world. Jesus came to this Earth to save us from our sin, shame and sickness. He touched the blind, He held the sick, He embraced the leper, He loved the unloveable. He loves each and everyone of us so much more than we could ever comprehend, and He loves without judgement, without condition, without prejudice. Whether you are male, female, disfigured, disabled or whole bodied God has a plan and a purpose for you. Grayson Walker lived on this Earth for only eight hours, yet his legacy lives on and his story has touched the lives of countless people across the globe. Grayson Walker's story has reminded me that God works all things together for good (Romans 8:28) and I for one feel that seeing this angel's face and sharing part of his story has made me a better wife, mother and friend as I will always seek to see the beauty in every person I meet, I will always seek to see the good in a bad situation and I will always thank God in every circumstance, and not least of all thank Him for my own children.

As I tuck my babies in to bed tonight and kiss their sweet faces I will think of Grayson Walker and his family, and thank them for reminding me of the fragility of life and that I must make the most of every precious second. This is one of the reasons God wanted to use this precious child and I thank God for his amazingly strong parents for pursuing their right to share him with me and the rest of the world.

Rest in peace Grayson James xx