What would you have me do today?

Lord what would you have me do today?

This is one question that I must confess I rarely ask. Not being a morning person by nature, the start of my day is usually signalled by a gentle melodious iPhone alarm or a child, whichever shouts louder at the time. After hitting snooze one too many times or fobbing off said child with promise of breakfast 'in a minute', I finally prize myself from my pit, and pad downstairs to start warming some milk and pouring cereals.

As a mom of two boisterous fun loving boys, my days are anything but quiet, from the loud appeals for breakfast to the shouts of 'where is my tie? where is my book bag?' as I try to herd two people out of the door at twenty five minutes past eight. I do however get some calm following school drop off, providing I can persuade my 22 month old to stay in the pushchair so mommy can have five minutes prayer without fielding a wayward child from the roadside.

But my prayers can sometimes be very one way. God can you please sort out this situation for me? Lord please will you heal my friend? Jesus please can you help my boys make good choices? Can you provide that house? that job? I know that God is a loving God, the ultimate parent who wants to please us, but he also wants to have a RELATIONSHIP with us, which means that prayer needs to be a two way street. Yes, he hears my arrow prayers, and answers them regularly, but I feel that as soon as he is about to return my prayers with conversation in my spirit, I turn my attention to the housework/laptop/next appointment/next errand to run.

I know that this will take practice on my part, and being a busy social butterfly who never sits still, being still before God and waiting on him is not an easy thing for me. However I know that waiting on him, seeking his counsel, his guidance, his rest will set me up for the day, no matter what I am facing or experiencing.

Its time to take control of my faith and my walk with God, and go deeper than ever before because I sense that he has an awful lot to say to me and do through me. God knows what is going on around me and what is set before me, I need to find out what HE wants me to do today and not just follow blindly down my own path.

Lord, I am here, I am ready and I am listening.

Naughty/Nice vs Nativity

I love Christmas, especially since having children as they sit in awe as we retell stories of Santa Clauses and Baby Jesus' birth.

The magic of Christmas is just so captivating, with lights, decorations, special services, parties and gifts. But can the idea of a mythical man giving gifts only to good boys and girls really sit alongside a belief in a Saviour who died for us because of a love so great regardless of our situation?

My faith in Jesus has been an integral part of my life for over a decade, and the Bible teaches that anyone who believes in Jesus can receive the greatest gift of all, salvation and eternity with Him in heaven despite not always being 'good'. Now this is not a get out of jail free card that enables us to live selfish, mean lives that don't bless others and honour God, but Jesus plainly taught that the grace of God was something given freely, not earned, which results in our heart response to follow Him and live for Him. 

I am not saying that Santa is bad, however the idea that 'works produce fruit' goes against my beliefs. Yes, I agree that good behaviour gets rewarded, yet how often do bad things happen to good people in the real world? Are we setting our children up for a fall by letting them believe that if they are good then things will always go their way? I don't think that allowing my children to believe in Santa is detrimental to their spiritual condition or mental condition for that matter, however, quite the opposite. The concept of Santa is giving gifts, however small, to celebrate Jesus' birth and lets face it, the first Christmas gifts were given to Jesus himself by the three Kings! If my boys want to believe in the magic of a jolly man who bears gifts to children across the world then I think it can only be a good thing to highlight the plight of those who are not as fortunate as ourselves and also encourage my boys to give gifts of their own.

Lets not get caught up in being 'super-spiritual', Jesus himself condemned the religious, legalistic Pharisees and commanded His disciples to simply love one another first and foremost. The Nativity will always be the focus for our family, but if using the Naughty/Nice list helps my boys to be that bit better behaved during the busy season while encouraging them to give to others too then that can only be a good thing in my eyes. 

 

Why getting damp could be good for you

No one likes being damp. Least of all me on the school run.

The sudden onset of winter has taken us all by surprise after such a lovely summer and mild autumn, and the constant rain hat we have been having has been particularly unwelcome by most. My mantra has always been 'there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing' and although I still stick by this saying, the Great British rain storms have dampened even my spirits when it comes to the repeated trips to and from the school gates with my buggy bound toddler in tow.

I have never been a fan of damp, especially after having to leave our previous home because of it, however God reminded me this week that being damp can have its uses. This revelation came to me whilst quietly ironing yesterday as I discovered that some of my husband's shirts had gotten quite damp from the iron leaking on to them in the ironing basket. Thinking that I would just iron them anyway then leave them to air, I was surprised to find that it is actually easier to iron clothes that are not fully dry as the creases aren't so set in to the fabric. Feeling rather pleased that my least favourite chore of ironing seven plus shirts had become far less arduous I felt God whisper into my spirit "that shirt is just like you".

Excuse me? I put the iron back in its rest on my battered ironing board and asked God "How exactly am I like a damp shirt?"

"Because when you are in the storms of life, stood in the relentless rain and finding your spirits dampened, it is then that you are most malleable and most receptive to my Holy Spirit speaking into and changing your life".

The reply stopped me in my tracks. It was so true, the times of greatest change and transformation in my life had been in times of difficulty, despair and disappointment. I have learnt more about myself and about the God I love and serve during hard times than I have in times of blessing and abundance. That is not to say that to experience a closeness and intimacy with God you need to endure trials, quite the opposite as God will meet you in whatever circumstances you are in. However for me I know that my strong personality is like those stubborn creases that just refuse to budge no matter how hot the temperature is on the iron, but with a bit of steam added they smooth right out.

God is a loving God who wants to bless us, and help us in our day to day lives, and He knows what is best for us.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

So next time you feel under the weather, that your spirits are dampened, be encouraged and turn to God and allow Him to get to work and start smoothing out the creases of your life.

R

Time to take out the trash

As a busy mom of two, it has never ceased to amaze me how quickly my bin gets full to the brim.

(Yes I realise this is probably a little gross, but bear with me on this, there is a valid point!)

With school runs, grocery shopping, laundry and a million other errands to fit in around keeping the house in a relative state of organised chaos and raising little children, it would seem that emptying my bin has become one of those tasks that I keep putting off. This largely because it is a grim job that involved handling stinky bin liners *gags* and almost always having to pick up a third of the contents that spills over the top or out of the split at the bottom of the overflowing bin liner in the process. I realise that if I just emptied it before it got quite so full then this chore would be far easier and dare I say more pleasant (if that is even possible), but when I get to the bin with two hands filled with dirty tissues, the contents of the breakfast bowl and empty wrappers I am far more inclined to simply squash the rubbish down to make room for more. Of course, its goes without saying that a bin that is not emptied often is usually fairly fragrant, and not in the welcoming cotton linen kind either.

Life can be a bit like a bin at time.... as women and mothers we take on other peoples troubles or 'trash' to help lighten their load and show that we care. This in itself is an admirable thing to do as we empathise with girlfriends and help them to work out their difficulties, but sometimes we take on so much and forget to empty our bin. If we don't take out the trash so to speak, then we are left fermenting over bad attitudes, negative thoughts and stinking thinking which will affect our day to day lives. Negativity is like a cold, it is super easy to spread and will jump from conversation to conversation, clinging to each person and affecting their day too.

The devil loves it when we gossip, moan and whine about each other/our spouse/our family/our house/our job*  (*delete as appropriate.) He can simply sit back and watch us spread discontent and anger across our circles of influence so we must watch what we say and how we say it to everyone, so that a) we will be consistent and b) we do not contaminate everyone else with our own insecurities and issues. That is not to say that we shouldn't share our thoughts and feelings, but there is a right place for us to take our trash so that we can be rid of our negativity without affecting others.

We can take any requests and petitions to God, no matter how big or small they seem, or whether they affect us directly or not. We can also carefully choose a trustworthy friend who can best advise and/or pray with us about our situation. When writing to the Thessalonian church, Paul states that we must never stop praying and praising God in all circumstances, therefore my advice is don't let the trash bring you down, give it to God and put it out for the dustbin men to collect, because when things are looking down it to time to start looking up.

R

Letter to my younger self....

Dear Rachel,

Congratulations! You have become a wife and a mother in the short space of 18 months.

Firstly I want to tell you to enjoy these precious few moments as a brand new family, you are in a great place emotionally, physically and spiritually following the move to your new church and you are starting to discover who you are and why God put you here on this earth.

Your role as a mother will not define who you are. You are more than a cook and bottle washer, more than a cleaner and laundry attendant. You are an independent woman who is strong, confident, accomplished and gifted, no matter how you may doubt and question yourself. Can I really do this? Can I ever be good enough? Am I qualified? The answer to all these questions in God is yes. If He has called you to it He will bring you through it.

Your girlfriends are your world right now, and that is OK. Fellow moms who are going through the same stages as you, attend the same church as you, attend the same toddler group, women that you have so much in common with. 

Don't take things to heart, you have a tendency to wear your heart on your sleeve a little too much so why not protect it and keep some things just between you and God. He knows your heart, He knows your desire to be loved, accepted and to belong which is why He sought you out to become a daughter of the King, part of the Kingdom of Heaven. This is also the reason He gave you a great marriage, a husband who knows you intimately and loves every part of you. A strong man who will uphold you and strengthen you in every area, a man who has got your back.

In the years to come you will face trials an tribulations but you will never be alone. God is with you, He is for you and He has gone ahead of you. You will overcome redundancies, health scares and depression. You will rise above doubts and dilemmas, bad decisions and bad behaviour. You will learn the difference between being a friend and being faithful and your personal faith will reach levels you never dreamed of.

Take courage and stand tall, the future is bright, you just need to believe it and grab it with both hands.

R

Come and rest here.....

Come and rest here......come and lay your burdens down.

The lyrics to Kari Jobe's song 'Here' beckons me to stop, press the pause button on my life and simply be in the presence of God. In a world where we are so crazy busy with appointments, school runs, day jobs, sports and social lives in can seem impossible to fit God in to our lives, especially when we feel like we are being pulled in every direction at once.

Yet that is just what He wants - God desires a relationship with us, not a fast five minute prayer each night before we drift off to sleep, but all of us, all of the time. Colossians 3:23 says 'Do everything as if you are doing it to the Lord', and that means how we rise each day, how we greet our family over coffee in the morning, how we conducts ourselves on the morning commute, how we perform our daily tasks, everything. God wants to be part of our lives, He wants to share the mundane, the little intricacies of our lives that no one else knows because we deem it to be too unimportant to share. God wants to be in that passing thought, that fleeting moment, so that He can reveal Himself to us in a way that we have never experienced before.

In order for God to come in we have to let down our guard, take down the defences and open our hearts to him, warts and all. We need to shake off the shackles of sin, shame and guilt and know in our deepest innermost place that God loves us completely, utterly and totally, just as we are in that exact moment. God doesn't want perfect people, He knew we could never get it right 100% of the time, that is why He sent Jesus. All God needs us to do is to accept Him, accept Jesus, and willingly invite them into our hearts and lives and they will do the rest.

As I listen to this song tonight, I am reminded just how much my God loves me, enough to send my saviour Jesus Christ to die for me. That I am so precious to Him, that he couldn't bear to see me lost forever, but rather He chose to reach out His hand and touch my life that I might be changed forever instead. It has been 10 years this year since I first made the decision to follow Jesus and trust Him with my life, and I have never looked back. Yes there have been tough times, but God has held my hand every step of the way, and the blessings poured back out from heaven have been overwhelming.

This last decade has provided some of the most transformational, defining years of my life, years where I grew to know and love a Saviour who loves me, years where I grew as a woman, becoming more confident in who I am and why I am here, years where I met my lover and soul mate, David Edwards and became his proud wife and mother of his two children.

I am blessed beyond measure, and it is all because I first stopped, and listened to that still small voice ten years ago. My prayer is that I will never stop listening, never stop taking time out to be still and know that He is God, to spend precious time in the presence of the the Lord, being restored, sanctified, healed and embraced by my heavenly father. If you don't know Jesus today, don't wait another moment, invite him in and He will change your life for the better. I would love to pray for you if you make that decision today, otherwise get in touch with your local church who will support you through the early stages of getting to know Jesus and becoming a Christian through valuable resources like Alpha.

God bless you

R xx

Today I Watched A Video....

Today I watched a video. It was only four minutes long, a short documentary about the birth of a young boy. What was so special about it I hear you ask, these home videos are ten a penny on YouTube. Yet this one was special, so incredibly special in fact that it moved me to tears and made me question everything about our society, my response to it and my gratitude for my own blessings in life.

The video I watched was created and released by the parents of Grayson James Walker. This gorgeous little boy was born 15th February 2012 with a severe birth defect called Anencephaly where he was born with parts of his cranium and brain missing. The grief stricken parents were clearly aware of this condition and knew their time with their precious son would be limited, and so they set up professional photographers and called in family members to welcome this little one into the world before he was so quickly taken away. Grayson lived only a short eight hours before passing in to the presence of God. His parents displayed strength that I believe could only have come from God himself as they held their tiny son in their arms, bathed him and dressed him in the most adorable outfits that he would wear only once. They rest in the knowledge that this baby boy is now clothed in robes of righteousness and garments of praise as he sings with the heavenly hosts in the throne room of heaven.

As a mother myself, I can only imagine the heartbreak that these parents endured at losing their son, and their decision to share his first and last moments with family and friends on social media sites is testament to their pride in this beautiful gift from God. However, shockingly, Facebook deemed the photographs of this child to be offensive and removed them. This unbelievable act left Grayson's grieving mother devastated and her response was to replace the deleted photographs of her son alongside many of her supportive family and friends, to which Facebook responded by issuing her with a 24 hour ban from the social media site.

A ban for sharing the most intimate and precious moments of her sons life with her world.

To say I was disgusted would be an understatement. Tears flowed down my cheeks in sorrow for the life that was taken too soon and the grief bore by his parents, and in anger for the judgement passed over this family down to a narrow minded opinion of the powers that be at Facebook. I stared in disbelief at my screen as I imagined who could do such a thing, who could decide that a life isn't worth celebrating, that a moment isn't worth sharing. Why, because it wasn't picture perfect? It wasn't a normal family with a happy ending?

Thankfully, the Walker family received a much needed apology, however I have news for the person who made that call that day. Life isn't picture perfect. We all fall short of the mark. There is more beauty in the face of that disfigured child than in the heart of those who think that his face should not be shared with the world. Jesus came to this Earth to save us from our sin, shame and sickness. He touched the blind, He held the sick, He embraced the leper, He loved the unloveable. He loves each and everyone of us so much more than we could ever comprehend, and He loves without judgement, without condition, without prejudice. Whether you are male, female, disfigured, disabled or whole bodied God has a plan and a purpose for you. Grayson Walker lived on this Earth for only eight hours, yet his legacy lives on and his story has touched the lives of countless people across the globe. Grayson Walker's story has reminded me that God works all things together for good (Romans 8:28) and I for one feel that seeing this angel's face and sharing part of his story has made me a better wife, mother and friend as I will always seek to see the beauty in every person I meet, I will always seek to see the good in a bad situation and I will always thank God in every circumstance, and not least of all thank Him for my own children.

As I tuck my babies in to bed tonight and kiss their sweet faces I will think of Grayson Walker and his family, and thank them for reminding me of the fragility of life and that I must make the most of every precious second. This is one of the reasons God wanted to use this precious child and I thank God for his amazingly strong parents for pursuing their right to share him with me and the rest of the world.

Rest in peace Grayson James xx

Expressing Yourself - Can Faith & Fashion Mix?

Like many girls, I have a weakness for fashion. 

For some it is sky scraper stilettos and for others it may be a penchant for prints, but my style achilles heel comes in the form of two items; scarves and handbags. Having been told by some wise old soul that you can never look fat in a handbag, I think that somewhere deep within my subconscious leapt for joy and made that mantra my own. A new handbag never fails to make me feel good!

 

The same can be said for my scarf addiction, you can simply never have too many scarves! Thankfully for my long suffering husband they are slightly more affordable than the latest designer tote, so regular new additions to my over stuffed scarf draw are not met with too much disapproval.

Whatever your personal style, there is something out there for everyone that makes their eyes widen and their heart race. Fashion is so subjective, and what makes one person feel a million dollars could make another recoil in horror. I think that is what I love about it, that ability to share a piece of your own personality, to bare a small part of your soul for the world to see, and this expression is one that should be respected and embraced. 

Fashion interests me in the way that it may or may not be perceived by people of different faiths. If clothes are an extension of our personality, then surely our style should reflect something of our beliefs too?There are of course specific items worn for religious reasons, with some of the better known ones being the Burqa (full body covering) or Hijab (face and neck covering) as worn by some Muslim women, or the cross/crucifix as worn by Christians to represent their respective faiths. I know that wearing these items actually has no bearing on what faith you are, and certainly wearing a cross makes me no more of a Christian than Rihanna donning a NASA space suit would make her an astronaut. However the suggestion is that what we wear (or more importantly don't wear) does speak to other of our traditions and beliefs. 

Interestingly more and more women in Britain have adopted wearing face and neck coverings after growing tired of the constant unwanted attention from some disrespectful men, and they have embraced the strict rules imposed on Muslim women when it comes to dress code. It is so often the case that young women feel that they have such little choice in how they dress, or indeed they feel railroaded into dressing in a provocative way to please their peers, gain social acceptance or even secure a promotion. 

The dubious role models women see splashed across every newspaper, magazine and social media site portray rebellious celebrities as strong minded women who wear what they want and don't care what anyone else thinks about their look or their attitude. In fact I think that the outfits worn by some of the more outgoing starlets scream the need for attention in a world where you can no longer be accepted if you don't break free from 'the norm', as opposed to a woman who knows her own mind. Perhaps those women who choose to wear bright clashing prints, leather skinnies and statement heels without feeling the need to display her cleavage down to the navel are actually the stronger individuals who are secure enough in their own skin not to follow the crowd. 

As a Christian, I know that I am accepted by God just as I am however that does not mean that I go around wearing immodest clothing. When you receive Jesus you are made into a new creation, and that includes the renewing of your mind, so that what you may have thought was appropriate before you would now consider to be the opposite.  

Since having children, low cut tops are a no go area for me anyway as invariably a small hand will tug in the wrong place causing a massive wardrobe malfunction, and short skirts would simply not be feasible as I spend 70% of my day on my hands and knees with two small boys. I don't think there is anything fundamentally wrong with these items if worn correctly and respectfully, I know that I am representing Jesus where ever I go, and that how I speak and conduct myself will speak far more loudly of my faith than anything I wear. That said, however, I still would not choose clothing that gain unnecessary attention out of respect for God and the body He gave me.

Faith does not mean that fashion has to take a back seat in your life (thank the Lord!!) God didn't design us to be clones, but rather He made each and everyone of us completely unique with individual personalities, and He wants us to use them! Making an effort with our appearance not only makes us look good but feel good, and being attractive is exactly what the Bible is all about; showing others the difference that Jesus has made in our lives. We have so much to be thankful for, our amazing God, Jesus our Saviour, the blessings of our exquisite world hand painted by the ultimate designer Himself, not to mention our wonderful families and warm homes. So go ahead, be thankful this spring and smile as you embrace the paintbox print trend or the oh so chic skort this season, you are fearfully and wonderfully made by the creator and He wants to see you shine for His Kingdom in 2014.

Living Life Through A Lens

Anyone who knows me well, will know that I am never far from my iPhone. That little white box that contains my calendars, emails and provides connections to the outside world no matter where I am and what I am doing. The invention of the smart phone has somewhat revolutionized most people's communication across the globe, and I am definitely no exception. A self confessed addict to social media sites and my beloved blog, I regularly post my comings and goings on twitter, instagram and facebook, and have done for many years.

However I was recently challenged by an interview I heard on UCB UK radio, where a band singer felt that the crowds were missing out by watching their entire tour performance through their phone camera lens. It got me thinking, how often do I capture moments of my life or my children's lives through a lens rather than just being in the moment? Granted, memories cannot be shared with loved ones who aren't present at the time, and instagram et al has enabled thousands of long distance friends and relatives to stay connected and not miss out on the milestones of family life. 

Whilst pondering this thought, I then went on to consider what I actually share.... do I share too much of my life online? By simply wearing my heart on my sleeve am I unwittingly exposing my family and myself to untold dangers? Do I really need to discuss or display our most intimate moments publicly or should they rather remain sacred and private to us as family unit? Does anyone really need to know that we are in Costa coffee, or the local park, or more recently in the hospital due to an unfortunate accident? A naturally outgoing person, I can all too easily allow my life thoughts and feelings to overflow into general conversation, and even more so in to the invisible online world of social media, much to my poor husbands disdain as he is very private. Having always considered him to perhaps be a little uptight, or just put it down to the fact that women like to share their thoughts and experiences whereas men keep their emotions to themselves, I was very shocked and humbled when God massively convicted me on my misinterpretation. Right now I feel like God is asking me to draw back in to my family and that we as a unit draw even closer to Him. 

As a family we feel called to serve God's kingdom through our church, and we know that in order to grow in our relationship with God and with each other we need to invest time and love into these relationships. By constantly putting Jesus at the centre of our family life, seeking first His kingdom then God will add to us all the things we need and the distractions of the world fall away as we fix our eyes on Him. God wants a relationship with us, and as we spend more and more time in His presence, learning His Word and living by His Spirit we will be transformed into His likeness.

I love social media, I think it is a powerful platform for businesses in the digital marketing era and a valuable tool for loved ones to stay connected. I  have made some truly wonderful friends on twitter and instagram, many of whom I have not and will probably never meet face to face, yet they impact my life on a daily basis. My online community is one that is very precious to me, however I am starting to realise the dangers and distractions of getting sucked into a virtual world when I have a very real God and Saviour who desires a deeper relationship with me. I spend so much time watching other peoples lives unfold on facebook and twitter that I sometimes forget to enjoy living my own. My children are so young, yet they will be grown up in the blink of an eye. I don't want their lasting childhood memories to be of a mother who was always there but never present, always stood with iPhone in hand during every achievement, every award, every milestone. 

I will continue using my social media avidly for both business and pleasure, however in the future I will have a very keen eye on how I am using my time to ensure that I invest the better part of it in my family and in getting to know Jesus on an even deeper level. Jesus said in John 10:10 I have come so that you may have life and live it to the full, I encourage each of you to put down the smart phone and do just that. 

R xx

PND: Making It Through The Darkness

Anyone who has ever experienced post natal depression to any degree will know that recovery is not n overnight process. However I was not prepared to be struggling with it over three month post diagnosis. My personal experience of PND required Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI) which I reluctantly took to get me back on track. Within weeks I felt like my old self again, of course there were many emotional low days, but on the whole I was so relieved to feel more in control. My husband has been a constant rock and provided me the best care and support I could have wished for. As my counsellor, lover, partner and best friend, his love and prayers carried me through even the darkest of days.

I struggled with the fact that I relied upon medication to overcome my depression as at the time I thought I should be relying upon God alone for my strength and healing. God quickly silenced my ridiculous ideas by reminding me that if I was sick I would go to hospital for medical intervention and this situation was no different. I thank God that He provides us with knowledge and medical science to alleviate and cure all manner of illnesses, including mental illness. 

I continued with my medication and slowly found my old self again, it felt like looking at your reflection through fogged tinted lenses and as the weeks went by the darkness lifted and the mist cleared.Finally I could see the fun loving, bubbly woman that I used to be. 

My husband regained his wife and my boys regained their mother and my confidence grew and grew so much that I started my own business, Rachel Edwards Writes. I have always regarded motherhood as my highest calling, something that I felt destined to do, however being a successful working business woman in my own right enables me to not only provide a better future for my children, but to to retain my independence and cultivate my creativity. I truly believe that I am a better mother for working and building a business in an industry I am passionate about; writing.

During the festive season and especially in the New Year, I began to do a bit of soul searching and felt that the time was coming to wean myself off the SSRI's. I felt great, and had even forgotten to take the tablets a few times with no detrimental effects, plus I knew that I didn't want to be on medication unless it was absolutely necessary. I prayed about it and felt that it was the right thing to do, but also gave myself the opportunity to go back on them if necessary. The first week off the meds was particularly tough, however I don't think that it has anything to do with the medication, but rather a spiritual battle.The enemy will use anything and everything he can to take you off guard, to make you feel like you can't do something, or that you will fail. He is the prince of lies and desperate to rob us of our joy at any given moment. For the first time in months I felt exposed, vulnerable, weak and scared. 

Looking back I realise this was the devil coming against me. My business was growing successfully and I was wholeheartedly serving God through the leadership team and worship team at Renewal Christian Centre, I was on fire for God and ready to take my relationship with Him to an even higher level. The devil knew this and did his damnedest to make sure I was not in a good place, he wanted to trample my dreams, make me doubt my recovery and my gifts and question my strength and my trust in God. What he didn't account for was the power of God within me. 

God reminded me how precious I am to him, how he only has plans for good, plans to make me prosper, plans to give me a hope and a future. Every time I have read my Bible in the past two weeks I have read about renewing your mind, and it only just occurred to me this morning that God is confirming to me that I am making the right decision in coming off my medication, that He will be my strength and my stay, and that I am changed by a new way of thinking, a transformed Christ-like mindset. Some of the many scriptures God has sown into my heart are below, and I cling to them knowing that He will continue to bring me through the completion of my recovery.

I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.Romans 9:17 NIV

Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life Proverbs 4:23 CEV

Think the same way that Jesus thought Philippians 2:5 CEV

Let God change the way you think Romans 12:2 CEV

Be changed by a new way of thinking Romans 12:2 NIV

You dear children, are from God and have overcome..because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world 1 John 4 NIV

I am not saying that any sufferer of depression should abandon their medication. This decision is personal to me after several months of treatment, counselling and prayer, and my time scale may be very different to someone else's. What I would say to you if you are affected by depression or mental illness is that God loves you, He sent His son Jesus to die for you so that you could be set free from sickness and disease, and He will help you through the darkness and out the other side if you will only open your heart to Him. Whether you remain on medication for six months or six years is irrelevant, the only thing that is important is your salvation and security in Jesus. Let Him in, let Him transform you from the inside out, mind body and soul, and this all starts with giving Him your heart.

Parenting by the Book....

After a snowfilled family weekend, we went to church as normal today and our Pastor Dave Carr is teaching an awesome new series on Defeating the Seven Deadly Sins. Today's sermon was about anger and temper and it really spoke to me as a parent and challenged me to rethink my attitude and behaviour when dealing with a strong willed tantrum filled toddler! You can download the sermon for free via podcast from the website www.renewalcc.com and I urge you to please listen to it, but I wanted to share what I learned from it personally, I hope it will bless you as much as it has me!

7 Deadly Sins - Anger and Temper (my notes from today's sermon)

He who loses the temper has lost the fight.

Temper is the habit of the mind, an outburst of anger, feeling of displeasure. Jesus and God got angry in the bible and anger itself is not a sin, but reacting by losing your temper is.

Ephesians 4:26 says don't let the sun go down on your anger - you can be angry but don't sin by lashing out verbally or physically and always deal with the anger and bitterness before you sleep on it.

If what we say does not build someone or something up then we shouldn't speak it out. As Christians we are called to take off our old self - with our bad tempers, poor habits and past failings and put on our new self, through Jesus who died for us.

Ephesians 4:17 the problem is not in our spirit it is in our minds. It is a habit of the mind that you must CHANGE.

1. We need to realise that anger does not become justified by the circumstance.

Regardless if its the twentieth time that I have told my son not to do something and he purposefully does it anyway, does that justify me losing my temper and getting cross?

2. Our reaction to the circumstance is about who we are not what the circumstance is.

As an adult and a parent I am called to be a role model to my child and show him how to deal with emotions and situations in a Christ like manner- not model a 'do as I say not as I do' parenting style...

3. Never try to justify our actions by comparing to others.

So what if other moms use different parenting methods to me; their child is an individual who will require a different approach to my child. There is no harm in discussing and researching parenting methods but I mustn't compare myself or my child but prayerfully do what is right in the eyes of God.

4. Appreciate and appropriate grace.

Jesus died for me and forgave my sins which are way worse than anything my child may have done to upset me that day, surely I ought to forgive as I have been forgiven only even quicker rather than allow myself to get so angry and upset by his behaviour?

5. Put off our reactionary attitude.

Don't react! If I feel tired and fractious take time out for myself and count to ten... Don't automatically raise my voice to deal with a situation, but remain calm and consistent. My son needs a stable parent to rely on while he deals with the emotions and hormones of growing up, not one who flies of the handle.

6. Replace anger and intolerance with the gifts of the spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control.

There is so much more in the sermon but this really spoke to my heart as a mom struggling to deal with the terrible twos/threes.... So with this in mind and my heart well and truly challenged I will be approaching my beautiful son very differently in the future to help shape him into the strong man of God he is destined to be :)