Parenting by the Book....

After a snowfilled family weekend, we went to church as normal today and our Pastor Dave Carr is teaching an awesome new series on Defeating the Seven Deadly Sins. Today's sermon was about anger and temper and it really spoke to me as a parent and challenged me to rethink my attitude and behaviour when dealing with a strong willed tantrum filled toddler! You can download the sermon for free via podcast from the website www.renewalcc.com and I urge you to please listen to it, but I wanted to share what I learned from it personally, I hope it will bless you as much as it has me!

7 Deadly Sins - Anger and Temper (my notes from today's sermon)

He who loses the temper has lost the fight.

Temper is the habit of the mind, an outburst of anger, feeling of displeasure. Jesus and God got angry in the bible and anger itself is not a sin, but reacting by losing your temper is.

Ephesians 4:26 says don't let the sun go down on your anger - you can be angry but don't sin by lashing out verbally or physically and always deal with the anger and bitterness before you sleep on it.

If what we say does not build someone or something up then we shouldn't speak it out. As Christians we are called to take off our old self - with our bad tempers, poor habits and past failings and put on our new self, through Jesus who died for us.

Ephesians 4:17 the problem is not in our spirit it is in our minds. It is a habit of the mind that you must CHANGE.

1. We need to realise that anger does not become justified by the circumstance.

Regardless if its the twentieth time that I have told my son not to do something and he purposefully does it anyway, does that justify me losing my temper and getting cross?

2. Our reaction to the circumstance is about who we are not what the circumstance is.

As an adult and a parent I am called to be a role model to my child and show him how to deal with emotions and situations in a Christ like manner- not model a 'do as I say not as I do' parenting style...

3. Never try to justify our actions by comparing to others.

So what if other moms use different parenting methods to me; their child is an individual who will require a different approach to my child. There is no harm in discussing and researching parenting methods but I mustn't compare myself or my child but prayerfully do what is right in the eyes of God.

4. Appreciate and appropriate grace.

Jesus died for me and forgave my sins which are way worse than anything my child may have done to upset me that day, surely I ought to forgive as I have been forgiven only even quicker rather than allow myself to get so angry and upset by his behaviour?

5. Put off our reactionary attitude.

Don't react! If I feel tired and fractious take time out for myself and count to ten... Don't automatically raise my voice to deal with a situation, but remain calm and consistent. My son needs a stable parent to rely on while he deals with the emotions and hormones of growing up, not one who flies of the handle.

6. Replace anger and intolerance with the gifts of the spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control.

There is so much more in the sermon but this really spoke to my heart as a mom struggling to deal with the terrible twos/threes.... So with this in mind and my heart well and truly challenged I will be approaching my beautiful son very differently in the future to help shape him into the strong man of God he is destined to be :)