What can I do to make you love me?

There are days when parenting seems like the hardest, most thankless job in the  world.

Today is one of them. From breakfast battles to dressing dilemmas, the school run yet again ended in tears (mine). 

I can cope with cheekiness, even tantrums, but I cannot cope with an attitude that would give a hormonal teenager a run for their money. My disastrous morning recipe was as follows; one grumpy boy seemingly intent on doing anything but what I asked, no matter how nicely, liberally peppered with mean and downright rude words intended to incite a reaction in me, a handful of time outs and a sprinkling (or rather waterfall) of tears.

I must stress that this is not how my mornings usually start, but when this is the case it turns my world upside down, gives me more tension in my shoulders than weight lifting and causes my heart to ache as I try to rationalise in my head what I could possibly have done to make my son hate me so much. 

Of course, I know he doesn't hate me (even though when he screams it from the time out mat at the top of his lungs it sure feels like it). The anger and frustration I feel soon gives way to concern and worry as I wonder how I can make him 'love me' and what I can do to help ensure our time before and after school are fun filled hours where we both feel happy in each other's company. 

When I feel a little calmer and look a little closer I don't see an angry naughty boy hell bent on ruining my day. Instead I see a little boy who is bright and articulate, desperate for my attention away from chores/work/phone, who maybe, just maybe needs me even more than I realise right now. His demands and protests could be due to changes at school, uncertainty as mom goes back to work and tiredness as we progress theough the first term of the year.

Maybe, just maybe, God is teaching me more about grace, forgiveness and unconditional love through my son than I could ever learn by reading a book. So today I spent the afternoon building my sons police Lego set ready for us to play with after school. (No mean feat I can tell you!) 

Time to get back to basics, the dust on the shelves and debris on my floor can wait, my children need me today.