Soul searching and song writing

When I was a little girl I loved to write.

Whether it was a story, a poem or a song, I loved nothing more then getting my thoughts on to paper, and I would spend hours writing on reams of paper. I especially loved songwriting and was bought my first guitar around the age of 11. I never had official lessons, but taught myself general chords and was soon strumming away to my very own songs. 

My memories of writing music are all centred around my nan. It was my nan who bought my first guitar and it was in my bedroom in her house where I would sit cross legged on my bed, pen in mouth playing with chords whilst watching the birds hopping around in the trees outside my window. My nan was a big fan of country music and my sister and I would spend many happy hours playing her Dolly Parton vinyls, making up our own dance routines and putting on a show for our long suffering family members. 

When my nan died, so did a big part of me. I was incredibly close to her, and as a 14 year old girl I wasn't ready to handle impending adulthood without her and consequently lost my way a little shortly after. Music remained dear to me, so much so that my guitar joined me on my journeys to university and then on to my adventures in London as a trainee veterinary nurse. However, I somehow forgot to take it away with me when I finally left London, and with it I left my dreams of writing music and expressing my emotions through song. 

I later rediscovered this love when I became a Christian and first experienced worship music. The ability to express my love for a God that so loved me opened my eyes to a whole new level of singing and songwriting, and I eventually joined the worship band in my church.

I have toyed with the idea of getting another guitar many many times, but had recently stepped down from worship to concentrate on pastoral care in our church so it has gone off the radar. Then I discovered Nashville season 1 on SkyGo TV Boxsets and reignited my passion to get a guitar and get writing.

Do I think I will play my songs for others? Probably not. Yes, I can sing but a lot of the songs that I wrote were personal and I have always considered them to be more of a therapy for me than a performance for others. That said, if God wanted to use me or them for His glory who am I to argue? So I am officially looking for a new set of strings to get me back into the swing of singing again, and I am so looking forward to rediscovering myself and getting even closer to God in the process. 

R x

Whose flag are you flying?

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past few weeks you will be only too aware of the World Cup mania that has spread across the globe. 

Picture credit: www.itv.com/news/anglia/

As usual, England goes all out with indulgent extravagant displays of patriotism, and football fans up and down the country are proudly wearing the three lions on their chest whilst driving cars adorned with the flag of St George.

I am no football fan unfortunately, and although not against the 'beautiful game' in anyway, I am slightly ashamed to say that England's performance in the World Cup will have no affect on me whatsoever. 

Yet I am in awe of the cross adorned homes that have flags billowing from every window, the hundreds of thousands who will go to every effort to ensure that they see the match live in full technicolour glory on their recently upgraded plasma screen TV, and even more so those that have sacrificed work and family to travel to Brazil and see the events unfold. 

These individuals are enthusiastic, passionate, and all consumed by their love of football. So devoted to their cause and so proud of who they represent, football fans across the UK are standing proud and shouting their allegiance to their faithful England team for all the world to hear. The level of engagement and unity of a body of people from all walks of life is truly remarkable, and is one that the church should emulate, and this got me thinking;

Whose flag am I flying?

Do people around me know who I represent? Who I am passionate and extravagant about? Do they know that I love and live for Jesus? That I worship the Lord and Saviour with my whole heart, that He has healed me and my family, provided for us and protected us over and over again?

Would I display a flag proclaiming my faith in the one who created the Heavens and the Earth as proudly as the England fans display their faith in eleven men on a pitch?

I would like to think the answer is yes, that my faith is so demonstrable in my daily life that I carry it like a banner wherever I go, not to shove it in people's faces but to make a declaration; I am in this body of people, the body of Christ and I am both humbled and proud to be a part of it. 

My hope is that my life could be a daily display of extravagant surrender and worship to the King of Kings who loves me so extravagantly that He gave His life for me, and I pray that I would never lose sight of how precious this gift available to every one of us truly is.