What would you have me do today?

Lord what would you have me do today?

This is one question that I must confess I rarely ask. Not being a morning person by nature, the start of my day is usually signalled by a gentle melodious iPhone alarm or a child, whichever shouts louder at the time. After hitting snooze one too many times or fobbing off said child with promise of breakfast 'in a minute', I finally prize myself from my pit, and pad downstairs to start warming some milk and pouring cereals.

As a mom of two boisterous fun loving boys, my days are anything but quiet, from the loud appeals for breakfast to the shouts of 'where is my tie? where is my book bag?' as I try to herd two people out of the door at twenty five minutes past eight. I do however get some calm following school drop off, providing I can persuade my 22 month old to stay in the pushchair so mommy can have five minutes prayer without fielding a wayward child from the roadside.

But my prayers can sometimes be very one way. God can you please sort out this situation for me? Lord please will you heal my friend? Jesus please can you help my boys make good choices? Can you provide that house? that job? I know that God is a loving God, the ultimate parent who wants to please us, but he also wants to have a RELATIONSHIP with us, which means that prayer needs to be a two way street. Yes, he hears my arrow prayers, and answers them regularly, but I feel that as soon as he is about to return my prayers with conversation in my spirit, I turn my attention to the housework/laptop/next appointment/next errand to run.

I know that this will take practice on my part, and being a busy social butterfly who never sits still, being still before God and waiting on him is not an easy thing for me. However I know that waiting on him, seeking his counsel, his guidance, his rest will set me up for the day, no matter what I am facing or experiencing.

Its time to take control of my faith and my walk with God, and go deeper than ever before because I sense that he has an awful lot to say to me and do through me. God knows what is going on around me and what is set before me, I need to find out what HE wants me to do today and not just follow blindly down my own path.

Lord, I am here, I am ready and I am listening.

Soul searching and song writing

When I was a little girl I loved to write.

Whether it was a story, a poem or a song, I loved nothing more then getting my thoughts on to paper, and I would spend hours writing on reams of paper. I especially loved songwriting and was bought my first guitar around the age of 11. I never had official lessons, but taught myself general chords and was soon strumming away to my very own songs. 

My memories of writing music are all centred around my nan. It was my nan who bought my first guitar and it was in my bedroom in her house where I would sit cross legged on my bed, pen in mouth playing with chords whilst watching the birds hopping around in the trees outside my window. My nan was a big fan of country music and my sister and I would spend many happy hours playing her Dolly Parton vinyls, making up our own dance routines and putting on a show for our long suffering family members. 

When my nan died, so did a big part of me. I was incredibly close to her, and as a 14 year old girl I wasn't ready to handle impending adulthood without her and consequently lost my way a little shortly after. Music remained dear to me, so much so that my guitar joined me on my journeys to university and then on to my adventures in London as a trainee veterinary nurse. However, I somehow forgot to take it away with me when I finally left London, and with it I left my dreams of writing music and expressing my emotions through song. 

I later rediscovered this love when I became a Christian and first experienced worship music. The ability to express my love for a God that so loved me opened my eyes to a whole new level of singing and songwriting, and I eventually joined the worship band in my church.

I have toyed with the idea of getting another guitar many many times, but had recently stepped down from worship to concentrate on pastoral care in our church so it has gone off the radar. Then I discovered Nashville season 1 on SkyGo TV Boxsets and reignited my passion to get a guitar and get writing.

Do I think I will play my songs for others? Probably not. Yes, I can sing but a lot of the songs that I wrote were personal and I have always considered them to be more of a therapy for me than a performance for others. That said, if God wanted to use me or them for His glory who am I to argue? So I am officially looking for a new set of strings to get me back into the swing of singing again, and I am so looking forward to rediscovering myself and getting even closer to God in the process. 

R x

Naughty/Nice vs Nativity

I love Christmas, especially since having children as they sit in awe as we retell stories of Santa Clauses and Baby Jesus' birth.

The magic of Christmas is just so captivating, with lights, decorations, special services, parties and gifts. But can the idea of a mythical man giving gifts only to good boys and girls really sit alongside a belief in a Saviour who died for us because of a love so great regardless of our situation?

My faith in Jesus has been an integral part of my life for over a decade, and the Bible teaches that anyone who believes in Jesus can receive the greatest gift of all, salvation and eternity with Him in heaven despite not always being 'good'. Now this is not a get out of jail free card that enables us to live selfish, mean lives that don't bless others and honour God, but Jesus plainly taught that the grace of God was something given freely, not earned, which results in our heart response to follow Him and live for Him. 

I am not saying that Santa is bad, however the idea that 'works produce fruit' goes against my beliefs. Yes, I agree that good behaviour gets rewarded, yet how often do bad things happen to good people in the real world? Are we setting our children up for a fall by letting them believe that if they are good then things will always go their way? I don't think that allowing my children to believe in Santa is detrimental to their spiritual condition or mental condition for that matter, however, quite the opposite. The concept of Santa is giving gifts, however small, to celebrate Jesus' birth and lets face it, the first Christmas gifts were given to Jesus himself by the three Kings! If my boys want to believe in the magic of a jolly man who bears gifts to children across the world then I think it can only be a good thing to highlight the plight of those who are not as fortunate as ourselves and also encourage my boys to give gifts of their own.

Lets not get caught up in being 'super-spiritual', Jesus himself condemned the religious, legalistic Pharisees and commanded His disciples to simply love one another first and foremost. The Nativity will always be the focus for our family, but if using the Naughty/Nice list helps my boys to be that bit better behaved during the busy season while encouraging them to give to others too then that can only be a good thing in my eyes. 

 

Why I won't let my children trick or treat

If you saw your son or daughter conjuring up demons and dead spirits or casting spells would you be ok with that?

I hope that the answer is no, yet millions of parents will allow their children to take part in the 'harmless fun' of Halloween while the devil sits back and laughs. He doesn't need to incite a curios in the dark arts within children because their parents unwittingly due it for him by making light of acting like a witch or wizard. The adaptation of JK Rowlings books have seen children across the world brandishing a wand like a weapon and chanting their very own spells wwhilst touring the neighbourhood as a spooky being. 

Magic is not fun, nor is it harmless. It is a slippery slope to the dark arts, the power that it offers the participant lures them deeper and deeper into a demonic world where Satan can really get a hold of you.

I myself as a young girl was transfixed my shows like Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Charmed and so on and I gained an interest in the occult but thank God Jesus claimed me for His own and saved me.

The Bible pulls no punches on this topic, warning very clearly in Deuteronomy 18:9-14

"...Do not let your people practice fortune telling or use sorcery, or interpret omens,  or engage in witchcraft, or cast spells or function as mediums or psychics, or call forth the spirits of the dead..."

Fortunately God has the ultimate power, and the one name that makes the devil tremble is Jesus Christ. The Bible says if we call upon His name we will be saved and once we give our hearts to Jesus He lives within us. When you have done that you can be confident that;

Greater is He (Jesus) that lives in me than he (the devil) that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

God ia the ultimate heavenly Father and He loves you and wants to protect you just the same as you want to protect your family. My prayer is that this Halloween would not be a spiritual battle between good and evil for your soul or your children's souls, but would be the day you surrender to God and trust in His unfailing love and everlasting protection.

R

Time to take out the trash

As a busy mom of two, it has never ceased to amaze me how quickly my bin gets full to the brim.

(Yes I realise this is probably a little gross, but bear with me on this, there is a valid point!)

With school runs, grocery shopping, laundry and a million other errands to fit in around keeping the house in a relative state of organised chaos and raising little children, it would seem that emptying my bin has become one of those tasks that I keep putting off. This largely because it is a grim job that involved handling stinky bin liners *gags* and almost always having to pick up a third of the contents that spills over the top or out of the split at the bottom of the overflowing bin liner in the process. I realise that if I just emptied it before it got quite so full then this chore would be far easier and dare I say more pleasant (if that is even possible), but when I get to the bin with two hands filled with dirty tissues, the contents of the breakfast bowl and empty wrappers I am far more inclined to simply squash the rubbish down to make room for more. Of course, its goes without saying that a bin that is not emptied often is usually fairly fragrant, and not in the welcoming cotton linen kind either.

Life can be a bit like a bin at time.... as women and mothers we take on other peoples troubles or 'trash' to help lighten their load and show that we care. This in itself is an admirable thing to do as we empathise with girlfriends and help them to work out their difficulties, but sometimes we take on so much and forget to empty our bin. If we don't take out the trash so to speak, then we are left fermenting over bad attitudes, negative thoughts and stinking thinking which will affect our day to day lives. Negativity is like a cold, it is super easy to spread and will jump from conversation to conversation, clinging to each person and affecting their day too.

The devil loves it when we gossip, moan and whine about each other/our spouse/our family/our house/our job*  (*delete as appropriate.) He can simply sit back and watch us spread discontent and anger across our circles of influence so we must watch what we say and how we say it to everyone, so that a) we will be consistent and b) we do not contaminate everyone else with our own insecurities and issues. That is not to say that we shouldn't share our thoughts and feelings, but there is a right place for us to take our trash so that we can be rid of our negativity without affecting others.

We can take any requests and petitions to God, no matter how big or small they seem, or whether they affect us directly or not. We can also carefully choose a trustworthy friend who can best advise and/or pray with us about our situation. When writing to the Thessalonian church, Paul states that we must never stop praying and praising God in all circumstances, therefore my advice is don't let the trash bring you down, give it to God and put it out for the dustbin men to collect, because when things are looking down it to time to start looking up.

R

Where are you going?

Tonight I have a heavy heart after learning of the passing of a much loved member of our church. Although I did not know her personally, I know of her her battle with cancer and had the privilege of praying with her once. I know that this beautiful lady has been called home to the Saviour that she so adores, and she feels no pain, only peace and an immense joy that we can not comprehend. The tears streaming down my face are not for her death but for the loved ones she left behind, and I pray that our heavenly Father would scoop them up and hold them tight right now.

God reminded me tonight of the fragility of life, that like a flower that blooms in full technicolour but for a moment before quickly fading as the seasons pass. I started to think of all the things I, and my fellow mums should put in place should we ever be called home at a young age, such as our long overdue will that has been put aside amidst the busyness of moving house and raising two small boys.

Just as I was mentally thinking who I would want to have my most treasured possessions, I felt God say that the most treasured thing that anyone can own on the Earth is salvation. I know that I belong to God, Jesus has my heart because of what He did on the cross for me, and I am safe forever in the knowledge that should myself or my husband pass away we would be welcomed in to the arms of Jesus for eternity and would one day meet again.

As comforting as this thought is to me, a sense of panic and urgency came upon me as I thought of my loved ones who don't know Jesus yet. God spoke into my spirit and said if you are so willing to share the need to place your worldly goods in order with your family and friends, then why aren't you as fervent with their spiritual well being? Possessions and material items can be fought over long after we have gone, but our salvation cannot. We are either saved or we are not. Once we have died our souls cannot be bought back or prayed into heaven, we are called to make a response to Jesus whilst we are here on the Earth, not once we get to heaven's gates.

So where are you going? What do you believe? I don't profess to be any theologian, nor do I have all the answers, however I believe with my whole heart that Jesus is the Son of God, He died on the cross to save me from all my sin and He is now resurrected, alive and reigns with God in heaven. I believe that one day He will return to the Earth and make new all that is lost, broken and dead, and on that day all believers dead or alive will be raised up and given new bodies on a new Heaven and Earth.

I want to urge you to explore Christianity, join an Alpha course at Renewal Christian Centre or any church local to you and ask questions - the more difficult the better! Alpha teams are trained experts who can help you to understand who Jesus is, what He is about and try and answer your questions, no matter how big, small or 'ridiculous' they may seem to you. There is no obligation to become a Christian or join a church at the end, it is simply 12 two hour sessions where you can get fed a delicious dinner, meet new people, find out more about Jesus. 24 hours of your life. You may well spend more than that watching your favourite soap operas every week for a month, so what have you go to lose? It just might make the difference between the two destinations at the end of your life.

Come and rest here.....

Come and rest here......come and lay your burdens down.

The lyrics to Kari Jobe's song 'Here' beckons me to stop, press the pause button on my life and simply be in the presence of God. In a world where we are so crazy busy with appointments, school runs, day jobs, sports and social lives in can seem impossible to fit God in to our lives, especially when we feel like we are being pulled in every direction at once.

Yet that is just what He wants - God desires a relationship with us, not a fast five minute prayer each night before we drift off to sleep, but all of us, all of the time. Colossians 3:23 says 'Do everything as if you are doing it to the Lord', and that means how we rise each day, how we greet our family over coffee in the morning, how we conducts ourselves on the morning commute, how we perform our daily tasks, everything. God wants to be part of our lives, He wants to share the mundane, the little intricacies of our lives that no one else knows because we deem it to be too unimportant to share. God wants to be in that passing thought, that fleeting moment, so that He can reveal Himself to us in a way that we have never experienced before.

In order for God to come in we have to let down our guard, take down the defences and open our hearts to him, warts and all. We need to shake off the shackles of sin, shame and guilt and know in our deepest innermost place that God loves us completely, utterly and totally, just as we are in that exact moment. God doesn't want perfect people, He knew we could never get it right 100% of the time, that is why He sent Jesus. All God needs us to do is to accept Him, accept Jesus, and willingly invite them into our hearts and lives and they will do the rest.

As I listen to this song tonight, I am reminded just how much my God loves me, enough to send my saviour Jesus Christ to die for me. That I am so precious to Him, that he couldn't bear to see me lost forever, but rather He chose to reach out His hand and touch my life that I might be changed forever instead. It has been 10 years this year since I first made the decision to follow Jesus and trust Him with my life, and I have never looked back. Yes there have been tough times, but God has held my hand every step of the way, and the blessings poured back out from heaven have been overwhelming.

This last decade has provided some of the most transformational, defining years of my life, years where I grew to know and love a Saviour who loves me, years where I grew as a woman, becoming more confident in who I am and why I am here, years where I met my lover and soul mate, David Edwards and became his proud wife and mother of his two children.

I am blessed beyond measure, and it is all because I first stopped, and listened to that still small voice ten years ago. My prayer is that I will never stop listening, never stop taking time out to be still and know that He is God, to spend precious time in the presence of the the Lord, being restored, sanctified, healed and embraced by my heavenly father. If you don't know Jesus today, don't wait another moment, invite him in and He will change your life for the better. I would love to pray for you if you make that decision today, otherwise get in touch with your local church who will support you through the early stages of getting to know Jesus and becoming a Christian through valuable resources like Alpha.

God bless you

R xx