Soul searching and song writing

When I was a little girl I loved to write.

Whether it was a story, a poem or a song, I loved nothing more then getting my thoughts on to paper, and I would spend hours writing on reams of paper. I especially loved songwriting and was bought my first guitar around the age of 11. I never had official lessons, but taught myself general chords and was soon strumming away to my very own songs. 

My memories of writing music are all centred around my nan. It was my nan who bought my first guitar and it was in my bedroom in her house where I would sit cross legged on my bed, pen in mouth playing with chords whilst watching the birds hopping around in the trees outside my window. My nan was a big fan of country music and my sister and I would spend many happy hours playing her Dolly Parton vinyls, making up our own dance routines and putting on a show for our long suffering family members. 

When my nan died, so did a big part of me. I was incredibly close to her, and as a 14 year old girl I wasn't ready to handle impending adulthood without her and consequently lost my way a little shortly after. Music remained dear to me, so much so that my guitar joined me on my journeys to university and then on to my adventures in London as a trainee veterinary nurse. However, I somehow forgot to take it away with me when I finally left London, and with it I left my dreams of writing music and expressing my emotions through song. 

I later rediscovered this love when I became a Christian and first experienced worship music. The ability to express my love for a God that so loved me opened my eyes to a whole new level of singing and songwriting, and I eventually joined the worship band in my church.

I have toyed with the idea of getting another guitar many many times, but had recently stepped down from worship to concentrate on pastoral care in our church so it has gone off the radar. Then I discovered Nashville season 1 on SkyGo TV Boxsets and reignited my passion to get a guitar and get writing.

Do I think I will play my songs for others? Probably not. Yes, I can sing but a lot of the songs that I wrote were personal and I have always considered them to be more of a therapy for me than a performance for others. That said, if God wanted to use me or them for His glory who am I to argue? So I am officially looking for a new set of strings to get me back into the swing of singing again, and I am so looking forward to rediscovering myself and getting even closer to God in the process. 

R x

2013 What A Year It Has Been! New Baby, New House, New Business

So here I am, sat in a completely packed Starbucks in the Birmingham Bullring on 30^th December, with soy latte in hand and I am ready to write my last blog of 2013.

OK, so to be honest, my blog writing has been pretty much non existent this year on account of me learning to juggle being a mother of two combined with a busy church life, a writing career, a lively 3 year old and moving house. Our second son Isaac was born on 1^st March 2013, and he has been a complete blessing, such a contented happy baby who loves to be snuggled much to my delight. However I wasn't expecting my new arrival to come with additional extras in the form of post natal depression, and although I realised very quickly after the birth that something was wrong, I did not get formally diagnosed until Isaac was four months old.

During this time, I celebrated my thirtieth birthday with my family and we moved house to a new area in order to be closer to our preferred schools for Aaron, who will start reception next September. Our new home is lovely and our neighbours are wonderful, but while I busied myself with setting up each room my heart ached with loneliness and a darkness that I could not shake off. The PND diagnosis was a welcome relief, and I instantly felt better just knowing that I wasn't actually going mad and that I did genuinely have an illness that could be treated. Acknowledging the problem felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and the medication quickly helped to balance me out. Isaac is now 10 months old and I feel back to my old self again, and am thoroughly enjoying every minute of raising my two beautiful boys.

September saw me fully launch my freelance writing career and I am absolutely overjoyed to be able to use my creative skills in this way. Writing has long been a passion of mine, and whether it is a journalistic piece, a product review or a short fictional story, I find such pleasure in the written word and making sense of sentences. This was also the month that I rejoined the worship team at Renewal Christian Centre, where my husband and I are members. We love Jesus and it is an honour to be part of and serve such a lively vibrant church, and I count it as the highest privilege to lead people in worship here. There are so many new developments in the pipeline for 2014 we can't wait to see people's hearts touched and lives changed at Renewal in the coming months.

So what's next for me? I am continuing with my writing and plan to build on the foundations I have already laid down, I am blessed to be able to work around my children and spend as much time as I can with them while they are so young. I also enjoy taking and distributing Herbalife nutritional products to keep me fit and healthy and helping my clients do the same.

I want to focus on deepening my relationship with God and enriching my marriage to my best friend this year, time flies by so very fast and I don't want to waste a moment by being distracted with unnecessary things. My God and my family are the most important things in the world to me, and with them by my side I know I can't go far wrong. I plan to write more for 'me' too this year, in the form of this blog, as I find writing down my thoughts so therapeutic, plus reading other peoples blogs gives me such inspiration and I hope mine can do the same. Jesus was the ultimate storyteller, using words and parables to reach thousands of people where they were at, and I would love to think that maybe one day my writing can reach out to others who can relate to my experiences. I pray that each and every reader will have a blessed, prosperous and peaceful 2014!  

So we are having a baby this year....!

Happy New Year everyone! We had a truly amazing Christmas celebrating Jesus's birth with friends and family near and far, we enjoyed singing carols, playing lots of board games, walks in the park and far too much chocolate :) We stayed local this year having lunch at my parents after church on Christmas Day then Dave's parents stayed from Boxing Day onwards then we enjoyed birthday and New Year celebrations with our lovely friends twin boys.

But now the decorations are down and it's back to work and nursery (or start of maternity leave for me!!) I am now 32 weeks pregnant and on the official final countdown to our second sons arrival. This also marks the start of my stepping down from the worship team and choir until after the birth as a) I can't stand for long periods of time and b) there is increasingly less room for my diaphragm to flatten therefore I can't reach the notes I used to and also get out of breath quickly! Will miss it :(

We are so excited that we finally meet our newest addition in a matter of weeks and we are getting all the final preparations underway....washing Aaron's baby clothes, cloth nappies and bedding, fishing out and cleaning the car seat and building the crib and packing the all important hospital bags!

Plus the all important comforter has finally been chosen today by Aaron... He has had a Disney 'Roo' bear since birth and he and Roo are inseparable three years on so we knew we wanted the baby to have one of his own so we are proud to introduce you to 'Blu' bear!

The impending arrival also means that I need to crack on with finishing my crochet blanket for the baby....only two stripes left to go in my pattern! Can't believe how long this blanket had taken me, but I have genuinely loved making this little item to wrap our new bundle up in, even if it won't last him much past 12 months... I can always add rows on later if necessary right...?