Multitasking Mommy

Any one who has ever stood in the playground having a conversation with a fellow parent whilst keeping a keen eye on two children knows the importance of multitasking.

In fact, without this skill, I would go as far as to say that parenting would be nigh on impossible unless you are a hermit who is happy to live a solitary lifestyle for the next 18 years. Mom's, I have discovered, seem to have this skill finely tuned by the time their child reaches 18 months, and certainly it is honed to perfection when a second, third (or fourth!) sibling comes along. 

It is quite amazing how much you can achieve with a baby in your arms or a toddler on your hip. I have been known to cook dinners, wash floors, make phone calls and do multiple grocery shops in this exact position, and when you are sans child your productivity goes into overdrive. Who knew you could prepare the evening dinner, answer emails, write blogs, hoover carpets AND paint your nails in that two hour window? 

I don't think that multitasking is something that is a natural gift bestowed only to women (contrary to popular opinion), however I do think that we have to use it far more often than our male counterparts, and as the saying goes, practice makes perfect! Women are expected to be an awful lot of things, I can switch hats six times a day between wife/mother/writer/friend/daughter/pastor and although I cherish each and every role that I have been entrusted with, I often have to stop and think when do I get to put the 'me' hat on? So this evening, when my boys are in bed and my chores are done, I will be curling up on the sofa with a good book and a hot chocolate to indulge in some much needed me-time. Why don't you join me?

R x

They are what YOU speak...

I am so sick of hearing the phrase 'He is a bad boy' or 'She is naughty girl'.

Now, as a mother of particularly boisterous boys, who have been more than a little challenging at times, I am only too aware that sometimes our children do misbehave. But I have learnt (the hard way) that confirming negative behaviour to a child will only entrench the behaviour even deeper, as they start to believe what they are told about themselves.

Children are NOT bad. They are not NAUGHTY. Their behaviour is not malicious and is not a personal attack on you or others around you. Children are tiny human beings who are learning what is right and wrong and are pushing the boundaries socially and physically to discover what is OK, what is acceptable. And yes, at times they will make the wrong choice. They will choose to snatch that toy, to push that child, to hit that parent or answer back in the middle of the playground. These choices and the resulting behaviour exhibited is naughty, not the child, and I would encourage any parent, guardian or carer, myself included, to isolate the behaviour and condemn this not the child in question.

Furthermore, if it is not your child exhibiting the behaviour, stop before you judge them or pass comment; that little boy lashing out may be struggling with separation from a father who left his mother six weeks ago, that little girl may have a poorly sibling who is requiring all mom and dad's attention so she is acting out to get noticed by someone.

Our words have more power than we could ever realise. The Bible tells us that our words have the power to destroy and the power to save lives (Proverbs 12:6) and for anyone who has ever been criticised, put down or gossiped about, you will know that words can wound deeper than any sword. When someone casts a careless comment to a child, saying 'You are a naughty girl', 'Why do you do that? What's wrong with you?' 'He is a nasty piece of work', they are speaking into their little, impressionable minds, into their soft vulnerable hearts and dealing them the most hurtful blow that can stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Having done The Five Love Languages, I am aware that my top love language is words of affirmation, so for me, words have a lasting effect that can have immeasurable repercussions on my emotional and mental well being. I remember harsh words spoken about me or to me from a very young age as if it were yesterday, and the comments still cause me to question my image, my ability or my talent some twenty five years later.

God spoke the world into being with his words and as we are made in His image, we are responsible for the words we speak out into and over others. Jesus himself said; "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned" Matthew 12:36-37

If you have guardianship or relationship with a child of any age, please, I urge you, be careful what you say to them, in front of them or around them. Children are like sponges that soak up all that flows in and around them, whether that is good or bad, positive or negative. Don't fill their heads with your own judgements, doubts, fears or frustrations. Make sure the words you speak into them are full of praise, encouragement and gentle love-filled discipline that will build your child into a strong, secure man or woman in the future.

R x

Happy Holidays with Haberman Baby

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas break and were thoroughly spoilt rotten by your loved ones. We had a lovely time spent with both sets of grandparents and the presents came early for Isaac this year in the form of three fabulous AnywayUp cups from Haberman Baby that we were sent to review over the Christmas period.

The three non spill sippy cups we received were:

The Bird Cup for 6 months +

The Cow Cup for 9 months+ 

And the 360 Toddler Cup for 18 months plus.

As we have only really used traditional beakers with lids, I was very excited to use non spill beakers that would save my poor soft furnishings from the drips and leaks! The patented Haberman valve has revolutionised the infant drinking industry and I was very glad to experience it for myself. 

The first thing I was impressed with when these innovative cups arrived was the packaging, as it was super easy to open with a simple popper system that even my five year old could master. Isaac was immediately drawn to the Cow cup as it has a vivid black and white cow print, and he is a massive farm animal fan! That was the first cup he drank from and he got on with it no problems at all. The lid needs to be pushed down quite firmly to ensure it is watertight as I soon discovered one morning when I was half asleep and did not secure the lid properly and was then given an impromptu shower with rice milk!

The second cup we tried was the Bird Cup, which has quickly become Isaac's favourite. I am not sure if this is because the flow may be slightly faster or whether it is just the uber cute blue bird design, but this is the one that he always reaches for. This cup has a screw top lid and once again we have had no leaks whatsoever with this brilliant cup.

The final cup was the 360 Toddler Cup, which has proved a big hit with both my 21 month old and my 5 year old! This cup has an innovative design that enables children to learn to drink from the side of a cup without any spills. It does require the drinker to suck the lip quite accurately but my toddler was drinking from it with no problems at all, and seemed fascinated that he could see the drink coming to his lips but it didn't spill out! I love this cup because it also allows older children to feel 'grown up' whilst giving parents peace of mind that their sofa and carpets aren't going to get stained by blackcurrant juice!

The Haberman Baby AnywayUp Cups have received the prestigious Gold Award from Loved By Children, and I personally cannot recommend them highly enough as they have made meal times and snack times more fun for my children and also enabled me to be a little less paranoid about spillages. Check out the website for more information!

R xx

Disclosure - we were sent these Haberman Baby products for the purpose of this review and all views are our own.

Naughty/Nice vs Nativity

I love Christmas, especially since having children as they sit in awe as we retell stories of Santa Clauses and Baby Jesus' birth.

The magic of Christmas is just so captivating, with lights, decorations, special services, parties and gifts. But can the idea of a mythical man giving gifts only to good boys and girls really sit alongside a belief in a Saviour who died for us because of a love so great regardless of our situation?

My faith in Jesus has been an integral part of my life for over a decade, and the Bible teaches that anyone who believes in Jesus can receive the greatest gift of all, salvation and eternity with Him in heaven despite not always being 'good'. Now this is not a get out of jail free card that enables us to live selfish, mean lives that don't bless others and honour God, but Jesus plainly taught that the grace of God was something given freely, not earned, which results in our heart response to follow Him and live for Him. 

I am not saying that Santa is bad, however the idea that 'works produce fruit' goes against my beliefs. Yes, I agree that good behaviour gets rewarded, yet how often do bad things happen to good people in the real world? Are we setting our children up for a fall by letting them believe that if they are good then things will always go their way? I don't think that allowing my children to believe in Santa is detrimental to their spiritual condition or mental condition for that matter, however, quite the opposite. The concept of Santa is giving gifts, however small, to celebrate Jesus' birth and lets face it, the first Christmas gifts were given to Jesus himself by the three Kings! If my boys want to believe in the magic of a jolly man who bears gifts to children across the world then I think it can only be a good thing to highlight the plight of those who are not as fortunate as ourselves and also encourage my boys to give gifts of their own.

Lets not get caught up in being 'super-spiritual', Jesus himself condemned the religious, legalistic Pharisees and commanded His disciples to simply love one another first and foremost. The Nativity will always be the focus for our family, but if using the Naughty/Nice list helps my boys to be that bit better behaved during the busy season while encouraging them to give to others too then that can only be a good thing in my eyes. 

 

Mince Pies and Mommy Moments

So the countdown to Christmas is officially on!

Every day my 5 year old asks if Santa has been, which is getting more than a little tedious despite us being only 4 days in to his advent calendar.... I turned my hand at making a fabric calendar this year which was fun as I haven't sewn anything on my beloved machine for literally a year!! Definitely got the bug back and am looking forward to getting a bit more crafty as we wind down to Christmas.

The Christmas presents are sorted (please don't hate me) and the house is decorated so I feel very organised this year! Work is as busy as ever, but I am trying to get a better work/life balance as the past few months have seen a lots of late nights and laptop bound afternoons while the little one sleeps. The only nights that remain untouched are connect on Mondays which is our weekly meeting with fellow Christians who live locally, and Friday night which is our date night! We are very protective of date night, and although we rarely actually go anywhere, we always have a nice meal, some treats, sometimes a bottle of wine and we curl up on the sofa for a movie. *heart melts*

But what about 'me time' I here you ask? My immediate reply would be 'what is that?' Seriously, my days are so jam packed with attending and helping out at toddler groups, going to midweek church services, completing the school run twice a day (usually on foot), running a household, buying groceries and trying to keep up with our pastoral area that we look after at church. Oh and holding down a writing business!

I wouldn't change a thing about our life as I love being busy (although a cleaner or ironing lady would be sooo appreciated to keep up with two boys and two cats!) but I am aware that to be a good wife and mom I need to do things for me too. My perfect day would be a trip to the hair salon or beautician for some pampering followed by a couple of hours of uninterrupted writing in Starbucks or Cafe Nero, then maybe squeezing in reading Hello, House Beautiful or Country Living magazine or one of the many novels on my bookshelf.

Writing my blog and reading all the other amazing blogs on the circuit gives me so much joy, so in absence of my 'perfect day' being possible right now I am making the most of a mince pie and a mommy moment while my boys entertain each other. Life is too short to spend all our time working, once in a while close down the emails, let the dishes pile up or stick on cbeebies (shock horror) and indulge yourself in some you time.

R x

Why I won't be hounding my boys about homework

No one likes homework right?

(Unless you were a geek like me who begged my middle school teachers for homework for a year in then soon lost interest by year 9....)

So my eldest is in his second term of reception class at am amazing faith school and is absolutely loving it. We knew he was ready for the discipline and stimulation of school but could never have dreamt that he would change and grow so much so quickly and it has been a joy to watch him bloom.

The only 'concern' that I had about our choice of school (and it really is no concern at all) is that there is quite an emphasis on the academic side. My son is actually really bright and has embraced the new skills and subjects with much gusto, however learning has changed a great deal since I was at school.

We knew there would be some homework in reception, although mainly just reading at home, and when A first came home with a home learning diary and various passwords to join reading eggs and mathletics, I was very impressed with the technology available and excited to get started. However within the first half term my son was starting to notice that he hadn't gotten a certificate in mathletics like his friends at school, so I started looking in to what he needed to do to gain a certificate. I was horrified to learn he needed to earn 1000 points and as he gets 10 points per exercise he would need to complete 14 exercise per day for a week just to gain a piece of paper to put on the wall.

I know that the exercises are not compulsory, but kids talk and its hard not to compare when his peers are doing an hour plus of homework every night and have several certificates proudly displayed on the wall. I have really struggled with the concept of my five year old finishing school and coming home to spend his afternoon sat at my laptop in order to achieve recognition for his academic intelligence.

Don't get me wrong, we dedicate a great deal of time to learning at home, but I prefer my children to learn through play; counting lego pieces, making shapes and discussing them, ordering toy cars into colours and writing cards and letters to family and friends. I have spent years teaching my son at home and don't intend to stop now that he is at school, however I also don't intend to fill his down time with hours sat in front of a screen.

When my boy comes home, he throws down his school bag, grabs a drink and a biscuit and excitedly tells me about his day, then he plays. He plays cars, he plays superheroes, he plays lego, he plays dress up. He runs around with his baby brother until they collapse in a fit of giggles on the floor, he reads a book to me after dinner and he has a bath before more stories in bed.

I am so crazy proud of my son and I try to praise him regularly for the great things he does every single day and reassure him that he is doing great. In the meantime I will let him carry on with they very thing he does best; play.

The below poem by Anita Wadley sums up my thoughts on the subject.... R

Just Playing

 

When I'm building in the block area,

Please don't say I'm "just playing."

For you see, I'm learning as I play,

About balances and shapes.

Who knows, I may be an architect someday.

 

When I'm getting all dressed up,

Setting the table, caring for the babies,

Don't get the idea I'm "just playing."

For you see, I'm learning as I play;

I may be a mother or father someday.

 

When you see me up to my elbows in paint

Or standing at an easel,

Or molding and shaping clay,

Please don't let me hear you say, "He is just playing."

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm expressing myself and being creative.

I may be an artist or an inventor someday.

 

When you see me sitting in a chair

"Reading" to an imaginary audience,

Please don't laugh and think I'm "just playing.'

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I may be a teacher someday.

 

When you see me combing the bushes for bugs,

Or packing my pockets with choice things I find,

Don't pass it off as "just play.'

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I may be a scientist someday.

 

When you see me engrossed in a puzzle

Or some "plaything' at my school,

Please don't feel the time is wasted in 'play.'

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm learning to solve problems and concentrate.

I may be in business someday.

 

When you see me cooking or tasting foods,

Please don't think that because I enjoy it,

It is 'just play.'

I'm learning to follow direction and see differences.

I may be a cook someday.

 

When you see me learning to skip, hop,

Run and move my body,

Please don't say I'm "just playing."

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm learning how my body works.

I may be a doctor, nurse or athlete someday.

 

When you ask me what I've done at school today,

And I say, "I just played',

Please don't misunderstand me.

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm learning to enjoy and be successful in my work.

I'm preparing for tomorrow.

Today, I am a child and my work is play.

 

-  Anita Wadley

Why getting damp could be good for you

No one likes being damp. Least of all me on the school run.

The sudden onset of winter has taken us all by surprise after such a lovely summer and mild autumn, and the constant rain hat we have been having has been particularly unwelcome by most. My mantra has always been 'there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing' and although I still stick by this saying, the Great British rain storms have dampened even my spirits when it comes to the repeated trips to and from the school gates with my buggy bound toddler in tow.

I have never been a fan of damp, especially after having to leave our previous home because of it, however God reminded me this week that being damp can have its uses. This revelation came to me whilst quietly ironing yesterday as I discovered that some of my husband's shirts had gotten quite damp from the iron leaking on to them in the ironing basket. Thinking that I would just iron them anyway then leave them to air, I was surprised to find that it is actually easier to iron clothes that are not fully dry as the creases aren't so set in to the fabric. Feeling rather pleased that my least favourite chore of ironing seven plus shirts had become far less arduous I felt God whisper into my spirit "that shirt is just like you".

Excuse me? I put the iron back in its rest on my battered ironing board and asked God "How exactly am I like a damp shirt?"

"Because when you are in the storms of life, stood in the relentless rain and finding your spirits dampened, it is then that you are most malleable and most receptive to my Holy Spirit speaking into and changing your life".

The reply stopped me in my tracks. It was so true, the times of greatest change and transformation in my life had been in times of difficulty, despair and disappointment. I have learnt more about myself and about the God I love and serve during hard times than I have in times of blessing and abundance. That is not to say that to experience a closeness and intimacy with God you need to endure trials, quite the opposite as God will meet you in whatever circumstances you are in. However for me I know that my strong personality is like those stubborn creases that just refuse to budge no matter how hot the temperature is on the iron, but with a bit of steam added they smooth right out.

God is a loving God who wants to bless us, and help us in our day to day lives, and He knows what is best for us.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

So next time you feel under the weather, that your spirits are dampened, be encouraged and turn to God and allow Him to get to work and start smoothing out the creases of your life.

R