Naughty/Nice vs Nativity

I love Christmas, especially since having children as they sit in awe as we retell stories of Santa Clauses and Baby Jesus' birth.

The magic of Christmas is just so captivating, with lights, decorations, special services, parties and gifts. But can the idea of a mythical man giving gifts only to good boys and girls really sit alongside a belief in a Saviour who died for us because of a love so great regardless of our situation?

My faith in Jesus has been an integral part of my life for over a decade, and the Bible teaches that anyone who believes in Jesus can receive the greatest gift of all, salvation and eternity with Him in heaven despite not always being 'good'. Now this is not a get out of jail free card that enables us to live selfish, mean lives that don't bless others and honour God, but Jesus plainly taught that the grace of God was something given freely, not earned, which results in our heart response to follow Him and live for Him. 

I am not saying that Santa is bad, however the idea that 'works produce fruit' goes against my beliefs. Yes, I agree that good behaviour gets rewarded, yet how often do bad things happen to good people in the real world? Are we setting our children up for a fall by letting them believe that if they are good then things will always go their way? I don't think that allowing my children to believe in Santa is detrimental to their spiritual condition or mental condition for that matter, however, quite the opposite. The concept of Santa is giving gifts, however small, to celebrate Jesus' birth and lets face it, the first Christmas gifts were given to Jesus himself by the three Kings! If my boys want to believe in the magic of a jolly man who bears gifts to children across the world then I think it can only be a good thing to highlight the plight of those who are not as fortunate as ourselves and also encourage my boys to give gifts of their own.

Lets not get caught up in being 'super-spiritual', Jesus himself condemned the religious, legalistic Pharisees and commanded His disciples to simply love one another first and foremost. The Nativity will always be the focus for our family, but if using the Naughty/Nice list helps my boys to be that bit better behaved during the busy season while encouraging them to give to others too then that can only be a good thing in my eyes. 

 

Mince Pies and Mommy Moments

So the countdown to Christmas is officially on!

Every day my 5 year old asks if Santa has been, which is getting more than a little tedious despite us being only 4 days in to his advent calendar.... I turned my hand at making a fabric calendar this year which was fun as I haven't sewn anything on my beloved machine for literally a year!! Definitely got the bug back and am looking forward to getting a bit more crafty as we wind down to Christmas.

The Christmas presents are sorted (please don't hate me) and the house is decorated so I feel very organised this year! Work is as busy as ever, but I am trying to get a better work/life balance as the past few months have seen a lots of late nights and laptop bound afternoons while the little one sleeps. The only nights that remain untouched are connect on Mondays which is our weekly meeting with fellow Christians who live locally, and Friday night which is our date night! We are very protective of date night, and although we rarely actually go anywhere, we always have a nice meal, some treats, sometimes a bottle of wine and we curl up on the sofa for a movie. *heart melts*

But what about 'me time' I here you ask? My immediate reply would be 'what is that?' Seriously, my days are so jam packed with attending and helping out at toddler groups, going to midweek church services, completing the school run twice a day (usually on foot), running a household, buying groceries and trying to keep up with our pastoral area that we look after at church. Oh and holding down a writing business!

I wouldn't change a thing about our life as I love being busy (although a cleaner or ironing lady would be sooo appreciated to keep up with two boys and two cats!) but I am aware that to be a good wife and mom I need to do things for me too. My perfect day would be a trip to the hair salon or beautician for some pampering followed by a couple of hours of uninterrupted writing in Starbucks or Cafe Nero, then maybe squeezing in reading Hello, House Beautiful or Country Living magazine or one of the many novels on my bookshelf.

Writing my blog and reading all the other amazing blogs on the circuit gives me so much joy, so in absence of my 'perfect day' being possible right now I am making the most of a mince pie and a mommy moment while my boys entertain each other. Life is too short to spend all our time working, once in a while close down the emails, let the dishes pile up or stick on cbeebies (shock horror) and indulge yourself in some you time.

R x

Why I won't be hounding my boys about homework

No one likes homework right?

(Unless you were a geek like me who begged my middle school teachers for homework for a year in then soon lost interest by year 9....)

So my eldest is in his second term of reception class at am amazing faith school and is absolutely loving it. We knew he was ready for the discipline and stimulation of school but could never have dreamt that he would change and grow so much so quickly and it has been a joy to watch him bloom.

The only 'concern' that I had about our choice of school (and it really is no concern at all) is that there is quite an emphasis on the academic side. My son is actually really bright and has embraced the new skills and subjects with much gusto, however learning has changed a great deal since I was at school.

We knew there would be some homework in reception, although mainly just reading at home, and when A first came home with a home learning diary and various passwords to join reading eggs and mathletics, I was very impressed with the technology available and excited to get started. However within the first half term my son was starting to notice that he hadn't gotten a certificate in mathletics like his friends at school, so I started looking in to what he needed to do to gain a certificate. I was horrified to learn he needed to earn 1000 points and as he gets 10 points per exercise he would need to complete 14 exercise per day for a week just to gain a piece of paper to put on the wall.

I know that the exercises are not compulsory, but kids talk and its hard not to compare when his peers are doing an hour plus of homework every night and have several certificates proudly displayed on the wall. I have really struggled with the concept of my five year old finishing school and coming home to spend his afternoon sat at my laptop in order to achieve recognition for his academic intelligence.

Don't get me wrong, we dedicate a great deal of time to learning at home, but I prefer my children to learn through play; counting lego pieces, making shapes and discussing them, ordering toy cars into colours and writing cards and letters to family and friends. I have spent years teaching my son at home and don't intend to stop now that he is at school, however I also don't intend to fill his down time with hours sat in front of a screen.

When my boy comes home, he throws down his school bag, grabs a drink and a biscuit and excitedly tells me about his day, then he plays. He plays cars, he plays superheroes, he plays lego, he plays dress up. He runs around with his baby brother until they collapse in a fit of giggles on the floor, he reads a book to me after dinner and he has a bath before more stories in bed.

I am so crazy proud of my son and I try to praise him regularly for the great things he does every single day and reassure him that he is doing great. In the meantime I will let him carry on with they very thing he does best; play.

The below poem by Anita Wadley sums up my thoughts on the subject.... R

Just Playing

 

When I'm building in the block area,

Please don't say I'm "just playing."

For you see, I'm learning as I play,

About balances and shapes.

Who knows, I may be an architect someday.

 

When I'm getting all dressed up,

Setting the table, caring for the babies,

Don't get the idea I'm "just playing."

For you see, I'm learning as I play;

I may be a mother or father someday.

 

When you see me up to my elbows in paint

Or standing at an easel,

Or molding and shaping clay,

Please don't let me hear you say, "He is just playing."

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm expressing myself and being creative.

I may be an artist or an inventor someday.

 

When you see me sitting in a chair

"Reading" to an imaginary audience,

Please don't laugh and think I'm "just playing.'

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I may be a teacher someday.

 

When you see me combing the bushes for bugs,

Or packing my pockets with choice things I find,

Don't pass it off as "just play.'

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I may be a scientist someday.

 

When you see me engrossed in a puzzle

Or some "plaything' at my school,

Please don't feel the time is wasted in 'play.'

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm learning to solve problems and concentrate.

I may be in business someday.

 

When you see me cooking or tasting foods,

Please don't think that because I enjoy it,

It is 'just play.'

I'm learning to follow direction and see differences.

I may be a cook someday.

 

When you see me learning to skip, hop,

Run and move my body,

Please don't say I'm "just playing."

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm learning how my body works.

I may be a doctor, nurse or athlete someday.

 

When you ask me what I've done at school today,

And I say, "I just played',

Please don't misunderstand me.

For you see, I'm learning as I play.

I'm learning to enjoy and be successful in my work.

I'm preparing for tomorrow.

Today, I am a child and my work is play.

 

-  Anita Wadley

Why getting damp could be good for you

No one likes being damp. Least of all me on the school run.

The sudden onset of winter has taken us all by surprise after such a lovely summer and mild autumn, and the constant rain hat we have been having has been particularly unwelcome by most. My mantra has always been 'there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing' and although I still stick by this saying, the Great British rain storms have dampened even my spirits when it comes to the repeated trips to and from the school gates with my buggy bound toddler in tow.

I have never been a fan of damp, especially after having to leave our previous home because of it, however God reminded me this week that being damp can have its uses. This revelation came to me whilst quietly ironing yesterday as I discovered that some of my husband's shirts had gotten quite damp from the iron leaking on to them in the ironing basket. Thinking that I would just iron them anyway then leave them to air, I was surprised to find that it is actually easier to iron clothes that are not fully dry as the creases aren't so set in to the fabric. Feeling rather pleased that my least favourite chore of ironing seven plus shirts had become far less arduous I felt God whisper into my spirit "that shirt is just like you".

Excuse me? I put the iron back in its rest on my battered ironing board and asked God "How exactly am I like a damp shirt?"

"Because when you are in the storms of life, stood in the relentless rain and finding your spirits dampened, it is then that you are most malleable and most receptive to my Holy Spirit speaking into and changing your life".

The reply stopped me in my tracks. It was so true, the times of greatest change and transformation in my life had been in times of difficulty, despair and disappointment. I have learnt more about myself and about the God I love and serve during hard times than I have in times of blessing and abundance. That is not to say that to experience a closeness and intimacy with God you need to endure trials, quite the opposite as God will meet you in whatever circumstances you are in. However for me I know that my strong personality is like those stubborn creases that just refuse to budge no matter how hot the temperature is on the iron, but with a bit of steam added they smooth right out.

God is a loving God who wants to bless us, and help us in our day to day lives, and He knows what is best for us.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

So next time you feel under the weather, that your spirits are dampened, be encouraged and turn to God and allow Him to get to work and start smoothing out the creases of your life.

R

Why I won't let my children trick or treat

If you saw your son or daughter conjuring up demons and dead spirits or casting spells would you be ok with that?

I hope that the answer is no, yet millions of parents will allow their children to take part in the 'harmless fun' of Halloween while the devil sits back and laughs. He doesn't need to incite a curios in the dark arts within children because their parents unwittingly due it for him by making light of acting like a witch or wizard. The adaptation of JK Rowlings books have seen children across the world brandishing a wand like a weapon and chanting their very own spells wwhilst touring the neighbourhood as a spooky being. 

Magic is not fun, nor is it harmless. It is a slippery slope to the dark arts, the power that it offers the participant lures them deeper and deeper into a demonic world where Satan can really get a hold of you.

I myself as a young girl was transfixed my shows like Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Charmed and so on and I gained an interest in the occult but thank God Jesus claimed me for His own and saved me.

The Bible pulls no punches on this topic, warning very clearly in Deuteronomy 18:9-14

"...Do not let your people practice fortune telling or use sorcery, or interpret omens,  or engage in witchcraft, or cast spells or function as mediums or psychics, or call forth the spirits of the dead..."

Fortunately God has the ultimate power, and the one name that makes the devil tremble is Jesus Christ. The Bible says if we call upon His name we will be saved and once we give our hearts to Jesus He lives within us. When you have done that you can be confident that;

Greater is He (Jesus) that lives in me than he (the devil) that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

God ia the ultimate heavenly Father and He loves you and wants to protect you just the same as you want to protect your family. My prayer is that this Halloween would not be a spiritual battle between good and evil for your soul or your children's souls, but would be the day you surrender to God and trust in His unfailing love and everlasting protection.

R

Who wouldn't want an extra hour?

Mamma! Mamma! My sons urgent cries pierced my slumber like a pin to a bubble.

The call from my 19 month old wasn't actually any different from any other morning, only it was at 5am not 6am. (I so envy parents who have to wake their children in the morning!) Not being a morning person, my attitude was not particularly cheerful as I reluctantly left my soft, warm bed, padded in to the boys bedroom and lay down in little man's bed in a desperate bid to get them both back to sleep. I grumpily wondered whose stupid idea it was to put the clocks back in the first place, I mean, we are all repeatedly told how we should look to the future, don't revisit the past etc, so what benefit do we get from turning back time and gaining an hour?

A terminally ill mother who give anything to have an extra hour, God whispered to me.

A father holding his precious daughter in his arms would give anything to go back an hour to when breath filled her lungs.

The motorist who was distracted by a text message and didn't see the motorbike coming around the corner would give anything to go back an hour and switch that phone to silent.

Time is precious. It is fleeting and it is fragile. It is our most valuable commodity and yet we fritter it away on a daily basis. Today I have been awake since 5am, but that means that I have enjoyed an hour more of cwtches and cbeebies with my children. I am blessed beyond all measure and my prayer today is that I never forget that nor today for granted.

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog, its here a little while then it is gone." James 4:13

So if you have been up since the wee hours this morning, go and pour yourself a strong coffee, give thanks for your life and enjoy this day, this hour, this minute for we are not promised tomorrow.

R

School Run Style: Why I don't want to be a slummy mummy

I am sure that when my husband walks in he must think that I have spent hours in a wrestling ring, and to an extent he is probably right.

My once carefully applied makeup has been kissed or rubbed off by small chubby hands, my hair has been pulled on as I have adopted the role of ride on entertainment for my two sons or I have been so thoroughly soaked during the school run itself or during bath time. By the time I have dressed and fed our boys, coerced them in to getting out of the house on time for the school run, frog marched them to the school gates in biting winds and horizontal rain, returned home to play cars/trains/drums as requested by my toddler, cooked lunch, marched back to school to collect the big boy before returning home for CC time (cookie and catch up about our day), re-enacted scenes from Cars/Toy Story/Spiderman, provided ride on entertainment and had several tickle fights, I am not surprised that I look a little windswept by the end of it.

I have such good intentions when I start the day, have a shower and attempt to control my naturally wavy hair using brute force and straightening irons before carefully selecting a comfortable and warm outfit, plus coordinating accessories. Granted some mornings the shower is skipped in favour of a wash and I admit defeat and scrunch my tresses into curls to save a bit of time, and yes a long waterproof coat does cover a hoodie and weetabix splattered jeans on a bad day. However looking good makes me feel good so I make a conscious effort to look my best each day, even if that simply means a slick of lip gloss, and a sweep of mascara.

I think my image consciousness comes from not only being interested in fashion and wanting to make the most of my figure/face in my thirties, but also from the fact that I don't 'go' to a place of work. As a working at home mom, I am privileged to fit my writing business in around my children, however not dressing for and travelling to an office can leave me feeling feel less motivated as I could work in my PJ's all day and am less likely to push myself to develop new skills and succeed. Having battle Post Natal Depression following the birth of my second son, I like to dress well so that I feel more 'put together' and ready to face the world and as my house is filled with boys I also enjoy dressing in a more feminine manner whenever possible, adopting dresses and skirts over leggings and tights if the weather permits.

Please understand that I have nothing against moms who wear hoodies and slouchy jeans for the school run (although I draw the line at pulling a three quarter length coat and ugg boots over the top of your PJ's unless you seriously overslept!) if anything I applaud them for being so comfortable in their own skin to wear practical, comfortable clothing.

For me, fashion and a sense of style is part of my identity as a woman and it also boost my confidence, making a concerted effort helps me to feel more confident in all areas of my personal and professional life, from meeting new moms in the playground to writing website content for a new client.

The beauty of fashion nowadays is that it needn't cost the earth, and some of my greatest finds have been in charity shops across the UK. As a parent to a boy who thinks flinging his food and drink around at every meal time, I have quickly realised that nothing is safe from mischievous sticky fingers, therefore buying preowned clothes that cost less than a brand new item in Primark is far more preferable to scrubbing stains out of a favourite blouse that cost my whole wage packet. Furthermore, I am doing my bit for the environment by reusing and recycling in the process, and what's better than bagging a bargain whilst saving the world one clothing item at a time?

R